Sparkles & Stretchmarks: A UK Parenting & Pregnancy Blog: Debating the issue of....Debates!

Monday, 25 June 2012

Debating the issue of....Debates!

Hey Lovelies!

So I'm coming to you today with a different kind of post - for a while now I have been contemplating the idea of posting up a weekly debate on my blog for people to get involved in.

I really enjoy a good, intelligent debate - and what do you need in order to have a real debate?! You need at least one party defending each opposing point of view of course! So I was thinking it would be good to have one person representing each point of view, and have readers comment with their thoughts and opinions.

Now, the whole point of a debate is for each party to give their opinions in a rounded, well balanced manner - and to give explanations, reasons, and examples to back up their thinking.

Part of the reason that I enjoy debates so much is that it can be very eye-opening to take part in them - there have even been occasions when I have changed my mind on a subject after hearing somebody's opposing opinion in a debate, such can be the power of a well-balanced and intelligent opinion being offered.

But what has stopped me so far from starting this weekly debate post on my blog?

Well, unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are simply incapable of using their intellect to give a balanced and well-rounded opinion, and are unable to control themselves - people who basically think its ok to try to bully other people when they don't agree with their opinions, and are only able to make child-like statements such as "you're wrong" or "you sound stupid" - without giving any reasons or explanations for their own points of view.

Its a shame.

But one thing that has bothered me much more in recent hours is one blogger who saw fit to start a debate on her own blog, asking for the opinions of her readers on the subject of "Tattoos at Ascot" (not such a life or death subject, I know!)

Her blog does not have many followers (Which is not too surprising in all honesty, as her previous posts include topics such as "Don't you hate it when you're just so cool that your friends try and copy what you're wearing, people should never buy an item of clothing that their friend also owns..." etc etc. Something I may have thought when I was 7 years old and have since grown out of.) and so, sadly, there were not many commenters offering their opinions - there was only myself and 2 other people who responded.

The other two people agreed with her on the subject, so of course that was fine. I was the only person who took an opposing point of view and I gave my reasons and experiences, explaining them in a clear and concise manner.

To cut a long story short - this girl was one of "those" people who simply can not cope when people have their own opinions on a subject that do not match her own.

Not once did she try to debate the topic maturely, instead she just called me "stupid", "A fool", "hypocritical" (even when I asked her to point out exactly where I had shown any hypocrisy and she was unable to do so, because it hadn't happened), "wrong" and tried to blame our difference in opinions on our "generation gap" (I am 6 years older than her, we were both born in the 1980s - I'm not sure how this is a "generation gap").

In the end, the girl decided that - since she was incapable of responding to me in an intelligent manner without resorting to name calling - she would delete my comments!

Now, someone please explain to me, what is the point of starting a debate if you are not open to opinions of other people?!

I have saved the threads and am considering posting them on my blog, as I would be interested in hearing the opinions of other people and also think its only fair that I have the chance to show my final response to her - without her deleting it.

So what are your thoughts on the subject of debate?!
And don't worry - I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong or stupid if you have a different opinion than my own ;)


  1. When a debate goes rotten like that, I usually walk away. Just leaving it as it is, because when someone is arguing polemically, it is like talking to a wall. I enjoy debates, if they are polite and respectful. Other than that - I usually leave, because it is exhausting and consuming my energie for nothing!


    1. I know! It's just a shame when people obviously think they have something worthwhile to say but lack the intellect to put it across in a balanced and respectful manner.
      I guess a debate is only as good as the person you're debating with - and if they're not capable of responding maturely, you are literally trying to discuss the matter with a child/the wall!


  2. I think its a good idea in theory hun & I, like you love a good old debate! The only problem is the internet and beauty bloggers/vloggers/lurkers can be quite strange/childish/pathetic and darn right rude and personal.

    I've never had anything directed at me, but I've seen some awful things said to people & that's not even in a debate, its just narrow minded cruel idiots taking a dislike to something someone has spoken or written about.

    Maybe try something not too controversial to start with and then see how it goes? I mean it entirely depends on who decides to join in so its kind of pot luck with how it will go, but I think it will be interesting to see either way. X :-)

    1. Yeah thats a good idea! I think I'll give it a go but I'll regulate it and delete any comments that break my rules about getting personal/immature/ridiculous lol.

      Mind you, this blogger I got into it with was only on the subject of tattoos - nothing major you'd think but she was so pathetic about it!!! Why ask for peoples opinions if you don't want to hear them?!!!


    2. Well hopefulily there won't be any rude unreasonable people joining in but it sounds like you're well prepared fir deleting lol.

      It shouldn't matter what the subject is, the blogger in question should have been respectful of other peoples opinions on her 'debate'! At the end of the day, when you blog you have to remember that anyone on the world can see what you've written and is more than likely someone somewhere is not going to agree with what you've said. But especially when its in a debate, the whole point is that you have views from both sides! Maybe she didn't know what a debate really was lol.

      I'm intrigued to see what was said hun, are you going to post it? X :-)

    3. Lol I sure am!

      Exactly! Lol, she seems to be one of those really closed-minded people who assumes they're always right, its my biggest pet peeve when people are really rather ignorant/thick but mistake themselves for really intelligent! lol.

      I'll email what was said to you, see if you think I should post it up or not lol xxx

    4. You're so right, sometimes people like that dont even know what they are talking about but once they've started down one path they wont backtrack even if the realise they are wrong lol.

      Ooh yes please email it to me and ill take a look x :-)

  3. omg! I've always loved debates, though I do tend to get very serious about them. I have grown a lot over the years, and I know now that you can't be forceful in a debate, you have to put the info out there and people will always make their own decisions. I would absolutely loooove for you to do this, and I will defeinitely participate, esp. if I can have a few days or so after the post in case it's on a subject I'm not too sure of, because I'm a total nerd who would research the crap out of a subject in order to share an opinion on it. I feel like argument was the best part of English that I got out of college, I loved it. If anyone else is ready to rock this shit, I am.

    1. Thats exactly it - its all about just putting your information and opinion out there and allowing people to decide what they think about it :)

      I am thinking I would post up the topic and see who is interested in arguing for which side, then pick one person to represent each argument and give them a few days to prep their argument - post them up and let readers state what they think and who they agree with. :)

      I'm glad that you're up for it! :) I'll get thinking on some topics ... I'm thinking we'll start with some more light hearted subjects to see how it goes before getting into the real nitty gritty!


  4. Hey Hayley! Well, personally I love a good old debate! But then I'm one of those people that don't think in black & white, I've always been someone that mulls over the grey areas too - so much so that I often confuse myself! :) I think the world would be a boring place if we all thought the same way or wanted to be the same, where would the variety be? Plus it's good to hear different viewpoints on things, sometimes people can nail what you're thinking & confirm your thoughts. Other times they might have a totally different viewpoint which can enlighten you (or confuse you haha). I think it's a fab idea and you should go for it! I would keep it moderated though and delete any nasty comments (as there will be those that only think they're right, unfortunately), although I hope you don't get any as your blog is fab! <3 ox

    1. Hey Dana! I've missed seeing you around! :)
      I totally agree with you, that is the beauty of a it can open your mind to different perspectives! I guess some peoples minds aren't as open as they'd like to think though, sadly.
      Well I'm going to give it a try and see how it goes :)
      Aww thanks hun! :)


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