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Thursday, 25 July 2013

Thursdays Thing I Hate: New Mummy Criticism!

With a VERY famous New Mum in the spotlight this week, I wanted to focus this weeks Thursday Thing post on the intense criticism that new mothers come in for.

I was disgusted to read comments on Facebook and Twitter after Kate & William's first public appearance with their day old baby son focusing not on the sweet little newborn Prince, not on the happiness of a new family unit and how sweet they were, not celebrating the first glimpse of the future King - but instead focusing on Kate's post-pregnancy figure.

Considering that this woman had given birth to her first child, on the hottest day of the year nonetheless!, just 24 hours prior to this photocall with the worlds press focusing on her - I think she looks pretty bloody amazing!!!



Yes her baby blue Jenny Packham dress DOES clearly show her little pouchy tummy where her baby bump was - but what is wrong with that?!! She has JUST had a baby for goodness sake!!!!

She is no doubt suffering with the dreaded lochia - probably wearing one of those god awful hospital maternity pad/mini-mattresses, she may or may not have stitches to contend with - but even if not, I doubt she's feeling fresh as a daisy in THAT department!! 
She will be suffering with rock-hard boobs, leaking milk, probably feeling extremely tired, a bit faint and VERY overwhelmed - anybody who has had a baby will remember how you felt leaving hospital after giving birth, and I'm sure NONE of us would like to be paraded in front of endless cameras with the eyes of the entire world upon us at such a time.

So is it REALLY necessary to make such spiteful comments about her figure right now?!

And it's not just Kate who is subjected to this sort of criticism - even the "normal" mums among us come under fire post-baby.



I recall being VERY annoyed during my pregnancy at people's lack of self control when it came to commenting on the size of my bump - you become pregnant and suddenly the whole world seems to think that they have every right to judge your weight and tell you exactly what they think of it!

I hoped that this would pass post-baby, but unfortunately the pressure seems to increase - I swear I can feel peoples eyes pass over my stomach when they ask how old my son is and I respond with "4 months"

Friends of mine who had babies around the same time are already battling with each other to be the first to get back to their pre-baby size - living off green beans, working out every day, going to whatever lengths necessary to ping back into shape.

Well I'm not going to deny it - I was never in shape to begin with, so any "pinging" I did post-baby would only involve the microwave and a big bowl of super noodles - In fact I'll be totally honest, I always had a tummy that looked a bit pregnant anyway - at least NOW I have a little person to blame it on!
And it seems to come from both ends of the scale too - I recently came across THIS article in the Daily Mail crtiticising new mums for daring to treat themselves to spray tans, bikini waxes and visiting the hairdressers before having their babies.

What on earth is wrong with doing what you can to make yourself feel nice?!

I personally did it all - ok I didn't have a spray tan, but I WOULD have done if I wasn't having a c section! - I made SURE I had my highlights done the day before the birth. And of course - I made sure everywhere was "tidy" - surely THAT is just common courtesy for whoever has the unfortunate task of fishing around in the "Business End" of things!

I fail to see what is SO very vain about that?! Goodness knows that once baby is born, there is little chance for visits to the hairdressers so why not have it done right before giving birth?!
And I am not ashamed to admit that I made sure my nails looked nice, I had nice new nighties to wear in the hospital (And I made sure they were baby blue and mint green, to match my new baby boy!) - and I put my make up on within a couple of hours of leaving the operating theatre!!

I have seen MANY post-birth photos of my friends and some of them are certainly ones that the friends in question would rather forget - my sister even banned people from taking photos of her in the hospital because she didn't want to see herself looking rough.

I wanted to have nice photos of me and my baby in the hospital, I knew that I would be living with those photos for the rest of my days - so why would I not do everything I can to make myself look my best on them?!

If other people choose not to do that, thats up to them - but why should I and others be criticized for it?!

It seems that as a new mum, you can't do right for doing wrong. You are damned if you do, and damned if you don't!

What are your thoughts on the Kate Hate and the Daily Mail article?! As always, I'd love to hear from you!

22 comments:

  1. I love this, Hayley! Why not get your hair etc done before? You're right. My boy is 10 months and I haven't even had a chance to get my hair trimmed yet!

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    1. Thanks! Exactly - why wouldn't you do these things while you have chance!?

      Hayley
      Sparkles & Stretchmarks
      xxx

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  2. Great post, when I saw Kate in the pictures,I though she looked awesome! I cant imagine having to face the world just 24 hrs after birth that is crazy!

    I agree,I read posts on FB etc critizing her,I was disgusted with people,She just had a baby ,give her a break.

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  3. You've already read my Facebook status where I was narked at this. The first thing my grandma said to me (less than 24 hours after having Oscar) was "You need to shift that belly gal". I wouldn't have minded if she'd looked at Oscar first but noooo. She wasn't much better when I had Stace either. I believe she walked in and said "They don't make moses baskets like they used to". No mention of the new baby. For weeks. In fact, I think Stacey was about one when she finally acknowledged her. All because I was a single mum! I don't know eh? You never can win.

    Louise x

    Confessions of a Secret Shopper

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    1. Omg that is awful!!! :/ Was she really funny about you being a single mum?!

      Hayley
      Sparkles & Stretchmarks
      xxx

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  4. When I was pregnant people kept calling my face fat.. & just being mean about my weight gain.
    It was not fun at all. I really respect Kate for coming out like a real woman showing that after-baby bump. Not trying to hide something that is totally NATURAL when you had a baby a day ago even weeks ago.

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    1. Its horrible isn't it?! I don't know why people think they have the right to pass cruel comments just because you're pregnant!

      Hayley
      Sparkles & Stretchmarks
      xxx

      Delete
  5. Really enjoyed reading this post. Agree totally re Kate. I think people forget too easily how much pain a woman is in just after giving birth. x

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    1. Thanks! Exactly - I can only imagine how rough she must have felt, she's not super human after all and a blow dry and make up aren't going to stop the pain she must have been in!

      Hayley
      Sparkles & Stretchmarks
      xxx

      Delete
  6. Kate post pregnancy pics made me envious, gorgeous new mother!

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  7. I thought she looked absolutely stunning, even on a good day I never look that radiant xx

    Beautyqueenuk

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  8. I agree with you, I think Kate looked wonderful, and I don't blame you at all for having your hair done, etc, before the baby arrived...I'd do the same thing when my time comes!

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    1. Thanks Lexi!! It seems people are always ready with insults to hurl at mothers!

      Hayley
      Sparkles & Stretchmarks
      xxx

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  9. This is such a good and relevant post Hayley! You look amazing in your pics! People are just rude and ignorant when aren't they!

    Lucie

    http://LucieAndTheBump.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Aww thanks Lucie! They REALLY are, I don't know what it is about a pregnant woman that brings out the bell end in people! lol

      Hayley
      Sparkles & Stretchmarks
      xxx

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  10. You are SO awesome! I LOVED this post so much! you say it exactly how it is.
    And as for the cruel comments people left on FB/Twitter and anywhere else... They probably have never had kids. Honestly, I think she looked amazing. She rocked the dress she was wearing. Honestly, I think she's an amazing role model. She does look amazing especially after just having a baby. And so do you! I love the pics.
    Really loved this post. xx

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    Replies
    1. Aww thank you Sarah! :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
      I agree, she is such a fabulous role model!

      Hayley
      Sparkles & Stretchmarks
      xxx

      Delete

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