Sparkles & Stretchmarks: A UK Parenting & Pregnancy Blog: The Un-Blogged Moments.....

Sunday, 22 September 2013

The Un-Blogged Moments.....

As bloggers, I think it's fair to say that the majority of us do...most of the time....put our best foot forward.

We present to the world the most perfect version of ourselves.

It's only natural, of course - everybody wants to make a good impression. We all want to be liked and admired.

There is nothing wrong with that.

But sometimes I'll hit a low point in my day, things will go wrong, something will upset me, I'll mess up in some way....

These are the unseen moments....the ones that are conveniently left out of my blog posts. The smudges on the canvas of my life....the ones I try not to let my readers see too much of.

But wouldn't it be better if I did share these things too?

With so much of my life already shared online, isn't it only fair that I show you the bad side as well as the good?

Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Some days it's pretty stormy.

Days like today....when I feel like the worlds worst mother.

When I've struggled for the past few days to placate a poorly baby who is crying all the time for no known reason, who is constantly demanding attention and kicking up a fuss if I try to leave the room for just a second to fetch something for him from the kitchen.....

Days when I very nearly lose my temper, days when I just have to walk away for both our sakes.....

When nothing I do seems right, and all I want is for him to fall asleep so I can do something selfish like indulge myself in going to the toilet or having a sip from the drink I poured four hours ago....

Days when my biggest wish in the world is for just a few hours to myself so that I can finally do the one thing I've been desperate to do all week - clean the house from floor to ceiling, so I can relax a little and not feel like such a slovenly mess.

Days I find myself sitting here in my pyjamas at almost 5 pm, wondering where the day went and still planning to steal 20 minutes to wash my hair and make the dinner....

Days when I can't find the energy to put on any make up or pluck my unruly eyebrows, when I look a million miles away from that little picture in the corner up there introducing herself so happily to you.....

Days when I feel so down that I give in and indulge myself in chocolate and heap teaspoons full of coffee whitener into my mug instead of the skimmed milk I'm supposed to be having....when my need for a bit of comfort is too great to avoid, and the diet I've worked so hard at for the past few weeks is in danger of being all for nothing....

And then berating myself all night long, wishing I hadn't given in to temptation so easily and wondering how quickly the weight I lost will pile back on so I'll be right back to the beginning again....

Sometimes its hard.

And that's ok.


17 comments:

  1. we all have days like this, don't beat yourself up about it. You're right, it IS okay to find it hard. If life was easy and simple all the time there wouldn't be moments of elation and joy!
    Lauren | Belle du Brighton x

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  2. What a fab post! Summer has been very demanding lately and I keep starting jobs, getting half way through and then have to abandon them to pick her up and the house just gets messier and messier! Thanks for being honest and making me feel normal :) xx

    Emma
    Handbags To Change Bags - Mummy & Lifestyle Blog

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  3. This is great, I think I can agree with pretty much everything you say. Good to know we are not alone! Vicky x

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  4. Great post, everyone has days like this.
    Personally I've barely mentioned how bad a time I've had dealing with PND but that's because I find if I blog about positive stuff it helps me brighten my mood. Blogging is my happy place.

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  5. My goodness THESE all are basically me:
    When I've struggled for the past few days to placate a poorly baby who is crying all the time for no known reason, who is constantly demanding attention and kicking up a fuss if I try to leave the room for just a second to fetch something for him from the kitchen.....

    Days when I very nearly lose my temper, days when I just have to walk away for both our sakes.....

    When nothing I do seems right, and all I want is for him to fall asleep so I can do something selfish like indulge myself in going to the toilet or having a sip from the drink I poured four hours ago....

    Days when my biggest wish in the world is for just a few hours to myself so that I can finally do the one thing I've been desperate to do all week - clean the house from floor to ceiling, so I can relax a little and not feel like such a slovenly mess.

    Days I find myself sitting here in my pyjamas at almost 5 pm, wondering where the day went and still planning to steal 20 minutes to wash my hair and make the dinner....

    We just have to do the best we can and relish those days when we can escape for those two minutes to have a wee! Just yesterday I had a proper breakdown because I hadn't been able to leave her for the two minutes it takes in order to make myself something to eat; so I hadnt eaten for 6 hours and had fed her lots...so i fainted. Afterwards, people said to me well just leave her crying so you can eat, but it's easier said than done! Most of the time if i have to choose between the two, ill always choose to prevent hearing the crying!

    xx

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  6. totally right there with you Hayley... I get PLENTY of days like this. Jack doesnt nap in the day and sometimes I just want to cry!! we are all in it together!!

    Lou xxx

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  7. You should see me when I am close to losing my temper, a rare occasion but when I do there are fireworks and if I warn you to run, do it xx

    Beautyqueenuk xx

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  8. Life isn't all sparkles, for any of us. Some days it helps to share that downside, so others can send you hugs and remind you tomorrow will be better. {{{Big Hugs}}}

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  9. Fantastic post! We are all human. We all have days like that. Good for you for telling it as it is! Hope baby is back to sleeping normally and you get a bit of time to yourself.

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  10. I was thinking a similar thing recently about how blogging tends to be mainly positive moments, so to read something like this (something real that everyone knows is what life with a baby is really like!) is amazing.

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  11. I love this post, Hayley. I have been feeling like this recently, and especially as I'm breastfeeding on demand I literally haven't had time to do anything, Sophia isn't much of a napper in the daytime at home so I've struggled so much lately and Abi isn't at School full time for another 3 weeks so I'm literally dropping her, coming home for an hour and a half, breastfeeding, going to pick up Abi again as their only doing half days for a few weeks. Then coming home and feeding again! As well as trying to keep Abi entertained too! I don't have time for anything. Sometimes I would LOVE even half hour to just sit and have a cuppa or a little nap, or even just be able to tidy or wash up!!
    xx

    http://londonmummyoftwo.blogspot.co.uk/

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  12. Thanks for keeping it real, Hayley!

    Not always easy but mummy's do get by; time passes!

    X

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  13. I think this blog post is actually really refreshing. I don't have a child yet, but my sister does. I know she has mentioned that she was part of several online "mommy groups" that she had to quit for her own sanity because she felt like she was the only mother in the groups who was struggling with issues like these. The sad thing is that I'm sure every mom in there was having issues like she was having, but few were brave enough to admit those issues. Kudos to you.

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  14. Every day something goes wrong in my life.. except on Saturday, I had an interview and then we went out for the night and not one thing went wrong... My makeup went right, i didn't spill anything on my clothes, i didn't forget my cv, i wasn't late, the interview went well, i felt like i looked good when we went out, no one fell out, sienna was so good for my mum all night... it was such a good day! haha! Makes a change! I have started to try and write more personal, not so good posts as sometimes people think our lives are perfect and we have the perfect job etc! x

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  15. Glad I read this as I just blogged about similar feelings and it's good to know I'm not alone in feeling like this, even though I wish none of us ever had to struggle! I keep thinking 'it's just a phase' and it does pass, sometimes the days are more surviving than thriving but the thriving days make it all worth it x

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  16. I know exactly how you feel. Oscar's also been a demanding little monkey this past few weeks (It didn't help that he, Stacey and daddy were all ill last week either).

    It's got to the stage where I can't leave him at all for fear that he will hurt himself. I used to strap him in his bouncy seat or lay him on his play gym and happily go and make a cup of tea or a sandwich. Now though, he will roll over on his mat and get stuck if I leave him there. This results in him getting angry and smacking his head on the floor until someone picks him up. And when he's in his chair he arches his back and struggles to try and get free. Stacey did that when she was little and escaped - I'm terrified of this happening again so I no longer leave him there either.

    It seems as soon as I disappear from sight he starts roaring. If I hoover when there's just us 2 in he starts roaring. Yet if Nathan's here he doesn't. It's as if he's trying to make me out to be a liar!

    For me, the hardest part is trying to pack up ready for our big move. I don't seem to have done anything. And I have around 12 boxes full of stuff to sell before we go. I end up in tears every day because I feel like I'm letting everyone down. It sometimes feels as though I'm in the middle of a tornado and everything is crashing down around me. I'm sure that Nathan thinks I'm an unfit mum as some days I can barely dress myself, never mind do anything else.

    It's good to know that we're not alone. Despite me really not wanting any of us to feel like this. But it will get better. I know because I remember it from the first time around.

    Big hugs.

    Louise x

    Confessions of a Secret Shopper

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  17. I read this the other day and I think it is the best blog post you've ever written. I love your honesty in this post and how well you've written it (I sound so patronising! haha), but it makes me feel normal. I feel so similar to you in so many ways! And wanted to thank you for writing this as as you know from our twitter chat the other day that I have a lot of struggle days too! xx

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