Sparkles & Stretchmarks: A UK Parenting & Pregnancy Blog: Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman

Thursday, 5 May 2016

Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman



Pregnancy can be a magical time - the fun announcements, all of the scans, the name choosing, the excitement, the planning (I highly recommend checking out this article if you're currently in that stage >>> New Baby Checklist: 36 Essentials for Expecting Mums) and everything else that goes along with expecting a new little life.

But there can also be some not-so-lovely parts...the hemorrhoids, the back ache, the swollen feet...and my personal favourite, the ill thought out words of others!

Top 5 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman

1) DON'T SAY.....   "Ooooh are you sure there's just one in there?"

DO SAY..."You look wonderful! Glowing! Your beauty dazzles me!"

Even if the lady has the most gigantic bump you've ever seen...even if you're almost sure you can see four little feet sticking out of it...just DON'T say it.

You might think it's funny, you might think pregnant ladies don't get offended about the size of their bumps, you might even GENUINELY think she must be having twins...but please, just don't.

I can't tell you how many people I dream-punched in my imagination during my pregnancies for this very reason....don't make me dream-punch you, ok?

2) DON'T SAY...."Oooh your bump is very small isn't it..."

DO SAY...."You look wonderful! Glowing" Your beauty dazzles me!" (Are we noticing a pattern yet?)




As above, you might think it's complimentary to remark on somebody’s teeny weeny baby bump but consider this - small bumps can actually be a cause for genuine concern for the baby and require extra scans and measuring, so it's not really a compliment at all - it can cause a lot of  worry to a pregnant woman, so just don't say it!

Her midwife will be keeping an eye on the size of her bump...you don't need to! Promise!

3) DON'T...Look at my other children, then at my bump and then say .."You're going to have your hands full!"

DO SAY.... "What a lovely family!"

Do you think I don't know that I'm going to have my hands full?!  

I have a 2 year old swinging off my legs, and a 10 month old squawking in his trolley seat and a massive bump....I'm ALREADY QUESTIONING MY SANITY!!!

I don't need you to do it for me or make me want to run screaming out of the supermarket in fear of what lies ahead of me! I just want to buy some baked beans in peace, please?!

4) DON'T...Look at my other children, then at my bump and then say... "Haven't you got a TV?" or "Have you worked out what's causing it yet?"

DO SAY..."What a lovely family!"

I know you think that you're absolutely hilarious but I can guarantee you're not the first person that's said it to her...you're probably not even the first person that day.

You might, however, be the first person to tip her over the edge so unless you want a pregnant lady rugby tackling you to the ground or unleashing 9 months of pent up hormonal aggression onto you...just don't say it!!

5) DON'T SAY..."Is it a girl or a boy?" and then follow up her reply immediately with "Ooh are you going to try again for a girl/boy?" or "oooh fingers crossed for a girl/boy/whatever you're randomly guessing I might want!"

DO SAY..."Oh how lovely!"

The amount of people who do this is literally RIDICULOUS...

WHY do you think it’s acceptable for you to A) Assume you even know what sex I want this baby to be and that I want you "crossing your fingers" for any particular sex?! Maybe I want the opposite of what you think?! Maybe I don't care?! I'd be more inclined to break your fingers, than have you cross them for me actually, so...back off?!!!

and B) Even if I DID want a particular sex, what if I was having the opposite and your stupid insensitive presumptuous comments have just really upset me? What if it was something I was having real emotional problems about? Surely the best idea would be to just NOT SAY ANYTHING!!

And, while we're on, please also refrain from asking how I intend to feed the baby (Since when are ANY questions involving what I do or do not intend to do with my breasts an appropriate topic of conversation?!  Why would I want to talk about my boobs with you?!)

OH and if you could perhaps let me get this baby out of my uterus before you start asking me if I plan to have a fourth, that would also be AMAZING!!! Kthanksbye!

*FYI - I wrote this post on my last night of pregnancy, after 9 months of these comments constantly...so do excuse the extreme hormonal rage!!!

What things did people say to irritate you during pregnancy? Or did you get off without any comments? As always, I'd love to hear from you!

Making small talk and passing comments about someone’s pregnancy can leave you looking insensitive - that is if you don’t know what you’re talking about. It would be much better to just enquire after how the expecting mum is managing and possibly her health. If you really want to be helpful, get your expecting friend something that they can use or benefit from instead. Have a look at all of the items that expecting mums might need on the Smart Insurance “Essentials Baby Checklist”, as referenced above. This would be a lot more helpful, than passing comments and making small talk about something that can be really daunting for many.

If you enjoy my blog, please consider taking a moment to vote for me as Best Pregnancy Blog in the 2016 MAD Awards here - it would mean the world to me!
Tots100

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