Sparkles & Stretchmarks: A UK Parenting & Pregnancy Blog: Ways I Know I'm Getting Old

Friday, 29 July 2016

Ways I Know I'm Getting Old



I turn 35 at the end of Summer, and as much as I try not to pay my age too much attention (and make all the usual "It's just a number!" protests) - I feel as though lately I've been feeling my age more.

Not in a physical sense (in a physical sense, if I'm honest, I feel at least 50 most days thanks to the tag team efforts of my baby sons not to let me sleep!) but more in a "Oh my god, did I really just say that?! How OLD am I?!" sort of way.

Because lately it seems that throughout my day, certain things will present themselves to me and I will be overcome with a complete lack of understanding of modern life - and I hear myself utter words like "That's not music, it's just noise"  - and I realise that it's finally happened...I am suddenly OLD.

Here are 5 things that have recently helped me to realise that I am getting old:

1) Crazy On Trend Eyebrows

 Recently I went into a MAC store to buy some new make up. Nothing makes me feel quite so old these days as visiting a makeup counter, and here's why - I sit there, having my make up done by one of the super friendly and bouncy enthusiastic girls as they try to sell me their latest overpriced bit of rubbish - knowing full well that I am ONLY leaving with the same foundation I have been buying for the past 10 years, and as they chat away to me with all of the usual pleasantries I find myself staring in absolute awe at their eyebrows.

I cannot stop gawping at them and wondering WHY?! Why are girls these days doing that to their faces?!

WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K is going with young peoples eyebrows these days?!?!

Back in my day (Did you see what I just said?! I told you, I'm OLD!) the "in" thing was to pluck your eyebrows as thin as you could get them - I spent many a day hiding in the loos at college feeling all of the shame when my brows had started to grow back and  hadn't had chance to pluck them - so to see girls today WILLINGLY sporting massive bushy caterpillar brows, and actually DARKENING them to make them even more prominent - it leaves me pretty bewildered.

WHY are bushy brows cool now?! When did this happen?! Is it all because Cara Delevingne decided it was ok?! What's next...are we all going to stop shaving our legs if Cara does it first? NO! Just No! I am so not ok with this trend!



2) Brooklyn Beckham Having A Twitter Account

AND a girlfriend...and a modelling contract...And just being an actual bonafide grown up human, for that matter.

HOW can it be that Brooklyn Beckham is actually old enough for any of these things?!

Because I SWEAR it was only 5 years ago MAXIMUM that the Spice Girls released that whiny Goodbye song (that I definitely didn't buy and know all of the words to...) and Posh was pouting around in the video with a massive pregnant belly - There is NO WAY that fetus is already old enough to be on Twitter!! Surely?! 

Step away from the Calvin Klein contracts ManChild, I am not ready for this to be happening!

(And do not even get me started on Madonna's newborn daughter Lourdes modelling in the Stella McCartney ads...)



3) Trends Of My Youth Are Coming Back Again

I remember as a teenager whenever I'd buy a new item of clothing, my mum would always look at it and say something totally cringe like "Oh wow, I remember when those were "in" first time around! I had a pair just like those!" - and I remember being mortified at the thought of my MOTHER wearing the same clothes as me - you know, because she was so old and uncool.

So now when I'm walking around New Look (a task which on its own already makes me feel pretty ancient) and I see denim dungaree dresses and floral bomber jackets on the rails, and my mind says "Oh I remember when those were "in" first time around!"...  I'm hit with the sudden realisation that now it's me who is old and uncool.

Sorry Mum. Maybe you weren't quite as old as I thought?!


4) Loud Music In Places Annoys Me

And I use the phrase "I can't hear myself think in here..."

Enough said.



5) My Son Refers To My Childhood As "The Olden Days"

Whenever I'm re-telling a story from "When I was a little girl" he always comes back at me with "Was that in the olden days mummy? When you were little?"

And the sad thing is, when I actually stop and realise that the 80s - days of my childhood, of ra-ra skirts and Bananarama-Dance Offs with my cousin - actually ended TWENTY SEVEN years ago, I realise that he's not actually that far off.

I remember when my Dad would regale me with tales of all of the aspects of his childhood that seemed so very alien to me in the high-tech times of 1985 - telling me all about black & white tvs, living in something called a "PreFab" and the days of betamax and thinking "Whoah...he's like REALLY old..."

Never did I think that my own children would have the same thoughts when I mention things like cassette tapes, and dial up internet.

How depressing?!?!

So I guess it's true...I really am getting older...but do you know what?... if being young means wearing bomber jackets and having massive eyebrows then count me out!! Now...where are my slippers?!




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43 comments:

  1. Ha great post. I'm 35 And thinking of my age makes me cringe. I still totally the 'I'd like to do that when I'm older

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    1. Oh me too!!! I struggle to believe I am actually 35! Thanks for commenting :) x

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  2. Haha this made me laugh! I swear we're reliving the 90s already aren't we?! People need to step away from the bomber jackets haha xx

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    1. Totally!! And it wasn't that great for fashion first time around, so whyyyy?!? ol Thanks for commenting :) x

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  3. This made me chuckle! I remember a friend lending Stacey some Barney videos back in 2006/2007 and she was totally confused by what they were. The fact that I had a video player at home made me someone from the olden days. Yet Oscar found some old video tapes at my grandmas a couple of weeks ago and now he's asking everyone we know if they have a video player as they're the coolest thing ever and he wants to watch them! I swear Oscar has been here before though as he talks like an old man quite a bit :p xx

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    1. Lol oh bless him!!! I don't think Tyne has ever seen an actual video, he'd have no idea! Thanks for commenting :) x

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  4. Hayley I hear you lol! I turned 35 last month and I agree with all of your points! I too don't understand the eyebrow thing, I think it looks bloody awful. And I think its mental that all the fashion these days seems to be 90s style - I remember the 90s, I didn't like the fashion then and not too keen on it now! But the thing that really makes me feel old is when you chat to a youngster (in my case it was one of my staff at work), only to find out they were born in 1996. I had almost left school then!! xx

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    1. Ah I'm glad it's not just me, I want to chase people down with my tweezers when I see them! I know they probably think mine look awful too, but I just do not get it! AHH yes...I cant bear hearing the year people were born, it just makes me feel ancient! Thanks for commenting :) x

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  5. I have a very similar post scheduled (Promise i've not copied!) but yes to these, and I am so with you on the eyebrow thing. I can't stop starring either. It's just bizzare! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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    1. Lol I believe you!! It's horrid isnt it?! Thanks for commenting :) x

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  6. Haha, all very true. Especially the trends that you remember from the 90s coming back. Also how is it that Brooklyn is old enough to be on Instagram and have a girlfriend. Where have the years gone??? Thanks for linking up with #FridayFrolics

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    1. Exactly!!! It's terrifying, he's just a child surely! Thanks for commenting :) x

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  7. This is fab Hayley. I feel sickened when a teenager says they were born in 2001, which is basically yesterday. I also hate really loud music when you're trying to have a conv, and I used to do awful things to my eyebrows to keep them as near to invisible as possible! Thanks for linking with #effitfriday, over to you next week lovely one!

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    1. ha! Me too! I think I actually tried to shave them once...oops. Thanks for commenting :) x

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  8. P.S. If it helps, you totally DO NOT look 35. x

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    1. Oh you're too kind! If you could see right now you'd swear I was 45! ;)

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  9. Yep, I totally get all of this, especially the EYEBROWS. Like, WHAT? All I can say is in a couple of years, those girls are going to be looking at the eyebrows and wondering what an earth they were doing thinking that brow game looked good on Instagram. And us oldies will be chuckling and saying "I told you so!" in a singsong voice. #effitfriday

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  10. Ha!!! I hear you on all of this. I have just turned 40 and feel very old in these ways (although 40 itself has been kinder than I anticipated). I was on a school trip last week and found myself saying 'all this modern pop music just sounds the same.' if that's not an old person statement, I don't know what is!! #fridayfrolics (mother inferior)

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  11. Hahahah this really made me laugh. I'm 26 but I still feel so old when I see all the trends I wore as a child in the 90s being brought back... Chokers were pretty hideous the first time guys, even on a 6 year old. Don't wear them. And when my nieces and nephews talk about being on fleek or whatever it is I'm just like WHAT?! #effitfriday

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  12. Lol, the olden days! Cheeky monkey! I also think that 10 years ago was the 90's haha! xx

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  13. I love this!I'm actually 10 years younger than you but I feel exactly the same, I definitely don't undestand the eyebrow thing, when I was a teen it was the done thing to pluck them all off and now it's gone the opposite way. Love that your boy thinks you were around in the 'olden days' haha xx #KCACOLS

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  14. Ha! I love these kind of posts, Hayley...Guess what? I'm even older! I can remember Live Aid, the original Charlie's Angels and Bagpuss!! #KCACOLS

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  15. I'm still laughing out loud at the ecard in the post about the shorts!! brilliant and funny post and I can relate to it so well. I'm in my forties and am constantly amazed at how time has flown, how grown up teenagers are and how people can be born in the 90's and be adults!:)
    mainy x
    #KCACOLS

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  16. I saw a picture of Brooklyn Beckham the other day. Seriously when did he grow up?! Time really does fly.

    #KCACOLS

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  17. What a great post. I'm 39, and can relate to so much of this. Totally agree on the eyebrows!!! why??? But hey, slippers tea and a good book sounds 'old' but good to me.
    Amanda. #kcacols

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  18. This is brilliant. Had me laughing out loud, really funny and totally true. I'm only 23 but I couldn't agree more. I'm counting myself out a lot of things too haha! #kcacols

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  19. Totally relate to all of this - especially the eyebrow thing. What IS up with that?!! #KCACOLS At least your not close to the big 4-0 though - I am!! #KCACOLS

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  20. I turned 35 just a few weeks ago and so I can relate to all of this. Did you know the film Clueless came out 21 years ago? And Titanic was 19 years ago? Mind boggling. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

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  21. Great post. I know exactly how you feel. I do all of these things too!#KCACOLS

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  22. I recently had a co-worker ask me if I was old enough to be considered a "baby boomer". Not quite that ancient, but on the wrong side of 40. #anythinggoes

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  23. This is a great post, very funny. The eyebrow thing is a constant source of bemusement for me, I don't get it at all. I'm coming up to 32 and have many of the same thoughts as you...
    Thanks for joining #chucklemums

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  24. Popping back in again to say thank you for linking to #chucklemums :)

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  25. Such a funny post, and I have to admit I've uttered most of your phrases and more besides! Although I've got about 9 years on you, so I am 'truly' old! My son wondered a couple of years ago if I was around when Jesus was alive! Nice! Here from #TheList & also #KCACOLS

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  26. Haha its amazing how old we can feel in our 30's. I turned 33 last week and I feel ancient. Kids definitely age us #KCACOLS

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  27. This is all very true & it really freaks me out as I'm afraid of how fast time passes. & I hate those stupid eyebrows!

    Thanks so much for joining us on #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you next time

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  28. I don't even mind the eyebrows - my old lady thing is the shorts. I don't even mind the super short shorts but could the pockets only be as long as the shorts. I can't comprehend the long pockets hanging out...it's not like you can put anything in them...

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  29. I turn 35 in January and I'm totally with you on all of these, especially the eye brows! If we'd have had eye brows like that as teens we wouldn't have dared leave the house lol!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes :)
    Debbie

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  30. Hahaha. Oh yes, I can hear myself saying so many of those things. The eyebrows get me too. It's so difficult to carry on a conversation without getting distracted. Mind you, I get distracted by the super skinny ones on people about my age. I've always thought they were weird too. #stayclassymamma
    www.lifewrangling.com

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  31. I'm at the point where the first albums I bought during that flurry of Britpop are now having 20th anniversary shows.

    The phrase 'on trend' makes me feel old. Having younger staff have to Google my references makes me feel very old.

    #KCACOLS

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  32. Hehe I had a right giggle at these. I too get 'is that from the olden days' from my 3 year old daughter. And don't get me start on that noise that these young folk think is music. Thanks so much for linking up to the #dreamteam xx

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  33. Seriously what is with the eyebrows?!? Totally agree. I also think it's funny that dungarees and bomber jackets are back in. Am I getting old now too? I don't think I realised it until this post haha nooooooooo! Thanks for the laugh and sharing with #StayClassyMama!

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  34. I spend my life hearing a song on the radio and saying that was released 30 years ago and then I realise that I must be old! #stayclassymama

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