Tuesday, 24 July 2012

10 Day You Challenge

Hello Lovelies!

Some of you might have noticed that my blog has been a little quiet over the past few days - the main reason for that is that I went out with my sister and my friend Amy on Saturday night and had a lovely time, but rather stupidly left my camera in my sisters bag!!

So without it I haven't been able to do any posts! :(

I am seeing my sister tomorrow though so normal blogging activity will resume!

Until then, I've been meaning to catch up on some tag posts and do this really fun 10 day challenge that I've been watching Louise at Confessions of A Secret Shopper do....so as I don't need a camera for these things, this is a great time to do them! :)

So, as you can see, the first challenge is to post up my....

10 Secrets

1) I have real problems with anxiety and I suffer from really bad panic attacks

2) I think most of my anxiety comes from the fact that I have a distinct fear of death. The thought of it terrifies me and can make me have an all out panic attack if I think about it too deeply, which sucks because its the only thing in anybodys life that is 100% inevitable.

3) Moving on to a lighter subject, this is probably no real secret - but I struggle to control my spending! My mind is always telling me not to save for the future coz its not promised to anybody anyway.... (Possibly because of the above fear!)...and so I always end up splurging money. I have WAY too many clothes, too much make up and too many shoes!! Its ridiculous.

4) My other obsession which eats up chunks of my money is stationery! I am very into penpalling and I LOVE cute Kawaii & Sanrio stationery - and it doesn't really come cheap. I have a whole chest full of Hello Kitty lettersets, and I currently have around 20 penpals.

5)Speaking of penpals, I also have a couple of penpals in prison in the USA. This was something a friend of mine has done for years and I had often thought of doing it too, but I wasn't sure how I'd feel about it. I decided at the start of this year to give it a try and I'm so glad that I did. I have bonded with two people who are serving long sentences, and I feel good about extending the hand of friendship to them despite their circumstances. I find it very interesting to correspond with them.

6) I beleive in fairies. I know thats kind of lame for somebody my age, but I do - I think there are some mystical things in this world that aren't always visible to us but are very much around us.

7) Which leads me onto my next secret....I am very spiritual. I don't talk much about it incase it offends or freaks anybody out, but I sometimes attend a spiritualist church and I read tarot cards for fun and give psychic readings - I don't know where I get the information I give to people from, but I have never yet been told that anything was incorrect. It freaks me out a little as I honestly don't know how I know anything I tell them.

8)I am not very confident at all in my appearance, which is probably odd for a beauty blogger. I LOVE make up because it makes me feel a little better about myself, but I have so many insecurities and hang ups about myself. I hate smiling because my teeth are so ugly, I physically cannot leave the house without make up because I am worried that I will scare people and it takes me months to trust a boyfriend enough to let him see me without makeup. 

 9) I blame the above on the bullies I encountered at school. I changed schools often because I always ended up being picked on by bullies. They always made me feel like a freak and I always felt that I had no friends. They would always make fun of my appearance and say I was ugly, and that has always stayed with me. It still upsets me when I think about various times and things they said to me. What bugs me most is that now most of them are my "facebook friends" because they sent me friends requests...as if all of that never ever happened?!

10) Speaking of friends, I don't have many. I have always been jealous of people who have tons of friends and huge social circles. I have acquaintances, and If I have a party I can fill it up with people...but I don't feel that I have many true friends who I could trust with anything. Infact, I always feel that people use me a lot. The people who act like my friends tend to disappear until they want me for something or need something from me. I can count easily on one hand the number of people who ever call me and ask me how I am without wanting anything - and I'd have fingers left over.



  1. Well, I have been meaning to send you a lil thank you for my prize card that I picked up like agggges ago and now I see you're into penpalling I may have to write you a really long, probably boring letter to accompany it! Hehe.

    And the stuff about bullies is really bad :( I've never been subjected to nasty bullying but people would often be really nice to my face then say horrible things behind my back. What they forget is that girls are often rubbish at keeping secrets and those horrible things always got back to me. I always think though, that if you can count the number of true friends you have on one hand, that's alot xx

    1. Aww bless! haha aww that'd be lovely! ;)
      Hey I noticed on facebook actually that we had mutual friends and they were some penpals of mine, do you penpal too or do you just happen to know them? (I remember one was Lou Coulthard, I forget who the other one was!)

      Aww that is one of the most horrible thing about girls, the back stabbing and bitching :(


    2. They are more friends of friends who I chat to on Twitter! We all have similar music tastes and stuff so it's been nice to get to know them :D

      I've not done any penpalling for years (having an attention seeking toddler put me off haha) but I would love to get back into it xx

    3. Ahhh I see! :) I've been penpals with Lou for years, shes so lovely :)

      Aww you should! Its so nice getting nice pretty mail in the mornings :)


  2. Just discovered you blog and I love it!
    I'm your newest follower - hope you can check me out as well! xo


    1. Aww thanks! :)I'll check out your blog now, love the title!


  3. I'm sorry to hear about the horrible bullying you experienced hun, I know exactly how you feel. I had such bad bullying in high school that I had to leave half way through the last year. I'll tell you more when I write your e-mail out again but that's just one more thing we have in common. X x

    You are very pretty and I never even noticed anything about your teeth not being perfect hun. I think unless you have them done professionally, then nobodys are perfect. X :-)

    1. Aw I'm sorry to hear that you were bullied too, its such a horrible experience and it really stays with you doesn't it??

      It is funny how much we have in common! :)

      Thank you for saying that, thats so sweet of you. I feel sooo hideous at the moment (I'm having another weight gain episode right now :/).
      I think the reason my teeth bug me so much is that they are what the bullying always started up about - I was always goofy and had discolouration from the accident I had when I smashed my teeth on the pavement. And with my last name being McLean it reminded people of the toothpaste - unfortunate!



What are your thoughts on this post? Please leave a comment!

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to e-mail me at sparkles_blog@hotmail.co.uk or tweet me @sparkles_blog

Blogger Template by pipdig