Thursday, 13 June 2013

Thursdays Thing I Hate: Scummy Mummies!

If there's one thing that REALLY gets me all riled up its SCUMMY MUMMIES!!!
Now before I start this rant, let me just say - I realise that motherhood is hard work.

It's not going to be a natural calling for many people and everybody will struggle, and maybe from time to time we'll all commit the attrocities I'm about to list....but the Scummy Mummies to which I refer are not the ones who occasionally fall into these categories, they are the ones who - day in, day out - live in the manner I refer to below.

And so - let me break these Scummy Mummies down into sub-categories:

Scruffy Slummy Mummies

Certainly the mildest offender on my list, but on there nonetheless - this is the Mummy who likes to use her children as her excuse for generally just not bothering much anymore. Not bothering with her appearance - greasy hair and never an ounce of slap on, not bothering to clean her home, not bothering with her kids appearance, etc etc.

This Mummy claims that since giving birth, she just DOESN'T HAVE TIME to do these things anymore - well I'm sorry love, yes we all have off days when it's more than we can bare to drag ourselves out of our PJs, but you cannot use your children as an excuse to never run a brush through your hair again for the rest of your days.

By all means, have a lazy day - have 3! Have 4! But just admit that you're tired and you can't be bothered. Don't blame it on the kids because lets face it, no matter how busy your day is - there is ALWAYS a spare ten minutes somewhere if you try hard enough to find it!

How To Spot The Scruffy Slummy Mummy: They are the ones pushing around their kids at 4 in the afternoon, wearing their pyjamas or a scruffy old tracksuit covered with old coffee stains, child in pushchair will usually be sucking on a Greggs sausage roll or drinking a bottle full of milky tea.

Their Natural Habitat: Supermarkets and Shopping Malls - wearing aforementioned PJs, with ugg boots of course.

Most Likely To Say: "I haven't got time for make up!" (Sod off, mascara takes literally 30 seconds...)

Biggest Offence?: Well the thing that always perplexes me is...once they (and usually, their kids) have roamed the streets and gone shopping in their pyjamas all day - do they wear the same ones to bed?! Coz that has to be REALLY unhygienic!!

Saving Graces?: Other than being rough on the eyes, these Mummies don't generally do a great deal of harm - a few sausage roll lunches and pot noodles dinner never hurt any child. Maybe they REALLY are just that tired.......

Shouty, Sweary, "I-Dont-Care"-y Mummies

Now we start to get more serious.

This is the Mummy who is struggling to find her maternal streak. The ones who don't bother to filter their mouths around their kids - thinking it perfectly acceptable to swear like a sailor in front of their young offspring - either somehow expecting that they won't pick up the bad habit or simply not caring if they do.

They are often the type who shout and scream at their kids a lot, and seem to have little interest in actually bonding with and interacting with their children - instead only ever seeming to communicate with them to instruct them to do something or tell them off.

How To Spot The Shouty, Sweary, I-Don't-Care-y Mummy: They are the ones that are storming around dragging an angry or upset looking child behind them. Usually with a scowl on their faces, usually shouting at their child, blaming them for something or just generally having a dig at them. Of course, all of us could fall into this category on a bad day - but the ones that are serial offenders are usually easier to spot. The children appear hardened to their demeanor - which makes it all the more sad.

Their Natural Habitat: These Mummies can be found in most places - though you are very unlikely to ever find them in places aimed at children as they dislike spending their time and money on their children due to a general lack of interest in them.

Most Likely To Say: "I don't want to play with you- piss off and play by yourself"

Biggest Offence?: From personal experience, the worst offender I've seen was somebody I know (so I know it wasn't just a one off!) who was rushing off somewhere, dragging their little boy of 3 years old behind them, when he fell over and really hurt himself - instead of comforting him in anyway, she yanked him up and said "F**ks sake Timmy, get up you d***head!". Yes.....really.

I also find it really horrible when mothers see nothing wrong in swearing around their kids - ok so you might not mind if your kids swear. But when they go to school and swear around other kids, and THOSE kids go home and repeat the words and tell their parents which child they learned it from - do you really want your kid to be THAT child - the one that other parents don't want their kids to play with because they're a bad influence?!! How sad for that child.

Saving Graces?: Its hard to find any. The most I can muster is that maybe these Mummies are the way they are because they are seriously stressed out, unhappy or depressed. But for Goodness sake, if this is the case - PLEASE do something about it. How awful for a child to be brought up in this way!

Mashed Up, Mad-For-It, Me-Me-Me Mummies

Far and away the most hardcore offender on my list.

These are the mummies who, for whatever reason, simply can't let go of their youths and are hellbent on continuing to "enjoy their lives" and "Not let having kids rule them" - to the point that they insist on going out partying whenever the opportunity arises, or throwing boozy parties at their own homes and forcing their kids to endure them. 

I don't think there's anything sadder than seeing a little child covering their ears at a party, up way past their bedtime, tired and upset because they just want to go to sleep but Mummy is too drunk and busy dancing around the living room to bother putting them to bed ....

Worse still are the Mummies who don't limit their good times to drinking, and instead fill their bodies full of all kinds of illegal nasties in the name of fun - despite the fact that they are supposed to be the adult responsible for their children.

How To Spot The Mashed Up, Mad-For-It, MeMeMe Mummy: 

They are the ones who spend more time browsing for new party outfits for themselves than bothering to clothe their children - who would spend their childrens nursery fee money on a few grams of coke for the weekend - whose children can be spotted tired and crying in the corner of the living room at yet another house party, or being passed from babysitter to babysitter while Mummy is out again.

Their Natural Habitat: These Mummies can usually be found crouched over toilets shoving white powder up their noses whilst regailing their friends with tales of what their toddler said over breakfast that morning - because they're SUCH a good Mummy!

Most Likely To Say: Not much....they're more likely to be sitting in the corner chewing on a wire hanger

Biggest Offence?: Putting your children at risk because you're - a) too off your face to be able to care for them if they hurt themselves, b)incapable of getting them to the hospital should they suddenly require medical attention or c)not paying attention to who is in your house while your children are alone in their bedrooms and you have literally all kinds of no-hopers wandering around the place....Really?! Do you not read the news?!

Saving Graces?: There are none. Sterilisation is the only way where these people are concerned. Harsh but true. There is NO excuse.

And so there you have it - you may find my examples a little extreme, but sadly I have personally come across people that fall into each and every one of these categories and all of my examples are based on actual events.

Which makes me angry and that is why I just had to share.....

What do you consider to be the worst type of Mummy Offender?! As always, I'd love to hear from you.....



  1. Haha. The first one is my pet hate, I can't comment too much as my little one isnt here yet, but if you look good you feel good in my opinion. I hope I can always make time to brush my hair and put on some blusher..

    1. I agree! Yeah its definitely hard sometimes to make the effort if the baby is crying or you're run ragged with kids - but the point is its hard, its NOT impossible!! lol


  2. I have to say I am a slight offender of the first one. Unless I'm leaving the house my main priority is Ted and I often neglect myself. Maybe this is something I should work on but as long as he is happy then I am happy and couldn't care less what I look like if my boy is clean, fed and well dressed.

    I totally agree with the second one and hate hate hate Parents that shout at their kids and pull them about in public, I recently was on a holiday at Center Parcs where a man had veins popping out of his neck he was shouting at his daughter so much. The sad thing was she wasn't bothered because she probably gets it all the time!

    Very interesting post! :)

    1. Ha! Well I agree that the kids are most important, and if you're making an effort with him thats the main thing! The worst thing is when you see the parents AND the kids walking the streets in their pyjamas :/

      That is really sad about the man at Center Parcs - especially when the child is on holiday too!


  3. Is it wrong that I laughed all the way through that? But you make some valid points and only this morning I witnessed said 'Scummy mummy' on the bus, in her PJS and Uggs taking her child to school xx

    1. Lol! Nothing bats the PJs and UGG boots combo - I wonder if there's method in their madness?! Like maybe the UGG boots are there to show that they DO have money, despite the fact that they're opting to wear PJs outside the house?!


  4. I've a friend who tells me off for not wearing make up on my days off work, but her 4 year old has her own make up kit and is better at applying mascara than I am!
    My house is a tip and I'm slightly concerned that I fall into the first category - but I have the excuse that I am a single mother, working 3 days a week while studying for an OU degree and maintaining my blog! That said, it is mostly superficial dirt that would only take a good hour's concentrated effort to sort out... which is this evening's task!

    I live on an estate filled with a combination of all 3. Hearing how they speak to their children, and coming home mashed off their tits at 3am, really makes me worry for what my daughter will see as she grows up. I want to move house!

    1. Lol well I doubt that you do since you're planning on cleaning this evening! The ones I'm talking about are the ones who just DON'T - EVER. Because they have children and are therefore incapable of ever cleaning again!

      It is so sad isn't it?! We have estates like that nearby and its so horrible to see how the children are brought up :(


  5. I have a friend who lets her kids not being fed but busy reading text, online shopping, etc. It's her brother who takes care of her son.

  6. I have to admit that yesterday morning I flipped at Stacey *hangs head in shame*

    I was actually crying while pushing Oscar in his pushchair and trying to get through to Stacey that not having a wash and putting on fresh school clothes was unacceptable. The fact that she didn't even care that she hadn't just took it's toll and before I knew it I was shouting at her. I can't believe I did it :(

    I hadn't even noticed until we got half way there that she had a great big grass stain on her dress. The class were due to play clarinet for parents after register and we were running late as it was so there wasn't time to go home and change. Plus she'd admitted that she hadn't washed herself that morning.

    I'd only had around 2 hours sleep as Oscar hadn't settled and I think I was feeling sorry for myself as it was, and it just made me feel that everyone would be saying I couldn't care for my kids (it's amazing how lack of sleep makes us isn't it)?! But that's no excuse, I shouldn't have done it. And I feel so sorry for Stacey and all the people in the street who heard me.

    Ooo, and to top it off I hadn't had chance to put any makeup on lmao.

    Lou xxx

    Confessions of a Secret Shopper

    1. Lol!! Aww Lou, that sounds like a nightmare day!! We are all going to have our moments sometimes - everybody shouts at their kids! But I bet you didn't swear at her loads!! :P AND you may not have had any make up on, but I also bet you weren't wearing your PJs and Uggs! :P xx

  7. I'm a bit guilty of being a scruffy mummy sometimes lol if we're not going anywhere we don't get dressed, I hate the mums that swear at their children, my mums nextdoor neighbour was teaching her daughter to ride a bike and when her little girl couldn't do it her mum called her a f*cking spastic, how bad is that!? xx

    Beauty by Emma - Beauty, Mummy & Lifestyle Blog

    1. Oh don't get me wrong, I love pyjama days! lol. Just not at Asda!!!
      Aww that is so horrible :( I feel so sorry for these kids

  8. I loved reading that post! It's all so true! I'm guilty of staying in my pjs and not wearing makeup if I know for sure I don't have to go anywhere and nobody's coming to visit but I wouldn't dare leave the house like that! Another thing I hate is when parents feed their kids complete junk! I hate it, they're too young to make the choices for themselves and junk will become the norm for them and what they'll continue to eat and feed to their kids!! It's abuse if you ask me! Sorry for ranting on your post but it hit a nerve! hah!x

    1. Aww thanks! hehe.
      Exactly!! We all have days when we sit around looking like zombies but would we really go out and do the shopping in our PJs!? WHY would anybody do that?! lol.
      Lol rant all you like here - I love a good rant!


  9. Hayley this post made me LOL!!! I completely agree with all points, especially the first one. I still manage to find 10 mins a day to look presentable I just do it when Rose takes her first nap then I'm set for the day. Fab post, you're so witty! Amy x


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