Friday, 16 August 2013

Friday Fives: Five Things NOT to say to a new Mum!

Any of my long term readers may remember that I blogged during my pregnancy about the Top 5 Things People Say To Pregnant Women That Bug Me....
Well I naively thought that once I'd given birth, all of those "Bite Your Tongue" moments would be well and truly behind me.....oh how wrong I was!
Little did I know that actually those comments do not disappear once you become a Mum - they actually worse! Both more frequent AND more annoying!
I's hard to narrow it down to a list of a mere 5 things that I have experienced people saying to me which have left me envisioning their bloody deaths Tom & Jerry-style in my mind (Ok, i'm exaggerating....a little) as there are so many to choose from - but these are the repeat offenders that seem to crop up most often - perhaps other, less badly tempered and more normal people wouldn't find them as irritating me - infact writing this list I have come to realise that I may perhaps just be a massive crank who will find fault with anything....but oh well, that's my prerogative! :)
My Top 5 Things NOT To Say To A New Mum
1. "Aww how lovely - is it a girl or a boy?"
Perhaps, with some babies, this comment could be forgiven.
Babies in black prams, wearing neutral colours - yes ok, it may be quite difficult to tell the gender and so therefore this is a valid question and a much better option than attempting to guess the gender and insulting the mother by being incorrect.
But I am afraid in my case, if you ask me this question - you are a moron. He is sitting in his BLUE lined pram, wearing one of his many BLUE outfits - and you ask me if he's a boy or a girl?!
Ok - perhaps some people like to dress their baby girls in blue, perhaps they'd put them in a baby blue pram - but how about when it happened with my niece....when a lady came up to coo over her, wearing her ultra frilly pink tutu and a massive pink flower hairband, sitting in her ultra pink frilly pram with bows all over it - and asked "Boy or girl?"....
2. "How are you finding it?" / "Do you like being a Mummy?"
It's amazing how often this question is asked of me, and of course I smile politely and say "Yes I'm really enjoying it, thank you"  - but the temptation to test them by saying "Oh I'm so glad you asked, I actually hate it - biggest mistake of my life - infact here you go, do you want him? No?! Can you point me in the direction of the nearest orphanage then?!" is massively overwhelming.
Of course its not true, but my god - wouldn't I LOVE to see somebodies face if met with that response?!
3. "Is he a good baby?"
What - apart from "Yes" - am I supposed to say to this?!
Who exactly - when asked this question by a perfect stranger - responds with anything else?!
Again, I'm often tempted to test people....I'd quite like to one day reply "Well, we're slightly concerned as we do keep finding bomb making kits and "How To Take Over The World Before Your First Birthday" books in his cot....but other than that, yeah he's pretty good...."
4. "Is he breastfed or bottle fed?"
Again, I am sure this doesn't bother other mothers but I just find it irritating. How does the way he's fed matter to you in any way?! Do I want your opinion or feedback on it? Nope! So why do you need to ask?!
If I responded with "He's bottle fed. Did you eat your dinner last night with a spoon or a knife and fork?" would you think I was odd?! Yep, I bet you would......
5. "Isn't he big?!"
Again, I may be the only mother that this bothers, but for some reason when people comment on my child being "big" I feel my defences go up and am suddenly compelled to tell them what weight percentile he's in and what clothing size he wears - for some reason, it just makes me think that they are saying he's fat!
So there you have it - let's be honest, I think we've learned more about me and my definite weirdness and over-snappiness than we have about the comments people make!
*Must make more effort to be a nicer, less snappy person*
What kinds of comments annoy you as a Mother? As always, I'd love to hear from you!
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