As bloggers, I think it's fair to say that the majority of us do...most of the time....put our best foot forward.
We present to the world the most perfect version of ourselves.
It's only natural, of course - everybody wants to make a good impression. We all want to be liked and admired.
There is nothing wrong with that.
But sometimes I'll hit a low point in my day, things will go wrong, something will upset me, I'll mess up in some way....
These are the unseen moments....the ones that are conveniently left out of my blog posts. The smudges on the canvas of my life....the ones I try not to let my readers see too much of.
But wouldn't it be better if I did share these things too?
With so much of my life already shared online, isn't it only fair that I show you the bad side as well as the good?
Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Some days it's pretty stormy.
Days like today....when I feel like the worlds worst mother.
When I've struggled for the past few days to placate a poorly baby who is crying all the time for no known reason, who is constantly demanding attention and kicking up a fuss if I try to leave the room for just a second to fetch something for him from the kitchen.....
Days when I very nearly lose my temper, days when I just have to walk away for both our sakes.....
When nothing I do seems right, and all I want is for him to fall asleep so I can do something selfish like indulge myself in going to the toilet or having a sip from the drink I poured four hours ago....
Days when my biggest wish in the world is for just a few hours to myself so that I can finally do the one thing I've been desperate to do all week - clean the house from floor to ceiling, so I can relax a little and not feel like such a slovenly mess.
Days I find myself sitting here in my pyjamas at almost 5 pm, wondering where the day went and still planning to steal 20 minutes to wash my hair and make the dinner....
Days when I can't find the energy to put on any make up or pluck my unruly eyebrows, when I look a million miles away from that little picture in the corner up there introducing herself so happily to you.....
Days when I feel so down that I give in and indulge myself in chocolate and heap teaspoons full of coffee whitener into my mug instead of the skimmed milk I'm supposed to be having....when my need for a bit of comfort is too great to avoid, and the diet I've worked so hard at for the past few weeks is in danger of being all for nothing....
And then berating myself all night long, wishing I hadn't given in to temptation so easily and wondering how quickly the weight I lost will pile back on so I'll be right back to the beginning again....
Sometimes its hard.
And that's ok.
