Thursday, 3 October 2013

My recent FML moments

You may recall a while back I posted about my FML moments....if you'd like a refresher, click HERE

We all experience many of these inconveniences on a day to day basis - from embarrasing falls in public, to saying something inappapropriate to suffering a work injury...

Well, such is my life, I now have a whole host of new FML moments to share with you!

Personally, I think it's pretty impressive that ALL of the things I'm about to tell you about happened to me in the space of 5 days....

1. I Flashed The Neighbour...

Because our new house has a bathroom downstairs, I'm still finding a way around the whole "Getting out of the shower, wearing a towel, and making it upstairs un-noticed" thing...

I'm used to bathrooms being in the normal place. Upstairs, out of the way. Enabling me to get out of the shower wearing a towel, walk through to my bedroom and get dressed.

Now our bathroom is at the back of the kitchen area, so you have to walk through the kitchen AND through the living room to get upstairs - the living room has a window which looks right out onto the road, at perfect roadside level so any pedestrians walking past are practically right inside the house - and they always sodding look in, they do NOT care....

So on this occasion, I had not only forgotten my clothes to change into after my shower...but I had also forgotten to bring a towel with me, and there were none in the bathroom. And Jon couldn't hear me yelling for him to bring one to me....apparently.

So what choice did I have?

I decided I would simply have to make a run for it.

So I did - unfortunately as I was going through the living room, Tyne distracted me.

Jon was playing with him, and he smiled at me and I was momentarily distracted and so I paused....

As I paused, the man from next door walked past the living room window.....and looked in.

Straight at me.....

Of course I shrieked and immediately hopped sideways into the hallway - but yes, I am pretty sure he got a pretty decent eyeful of my naked self standing in the living room.

Not my finest hour.

I ALWAYS remember my towel now....

2. I Wasn't Expecting The Health Visitor...

I have always liked to give the best impression possible when the midwife or health visitor has called.

I have always made sure I am up and alert, dressed immaculately, fresh face of make up, hair washed and styled, baby dressed and happily playing....whenever I am expecting their visit.

So imagine my distress when I opened the door yesterday to what I thought was the postman...only to be greeted by a woman informing me that she was our new health visitor, and had we not received the letter informing me that she would be calling?

No....No we hadn't.

Hence why, at 2 in the afternoon, I was wearing a tatty old nightdress which was far too short and had recently been covered in spilt make up on, hair not even brushed yet let alone washed.

Tyne was also still in sleepsuit - and having just had his lunch, was covered in orange stains - they were even on his eyebrows.

And of course he was playing happily with an empty chocolate digestive packet, as though he didn't own a single toy....

As I reluctantly led her through to the living room, I realised that Tyne's lunch dishes were all over the sofa as I had decided to just feed him there for it was empty bowls and yoghurt pots galore.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Jon was also not expecting her and I was unable to warn him that she was he came out of the shower wearing a towel (At least he remembered his!) and covered in blood from cutting himself shaving!!!

Epic epic fail.

Of course she was perfectly nice and apologetic that we hadn't been expecting her....but I warned Jon to say his Goodbyes to Tyne anyway as I was pretty confident she'd be putting in emergency call to social services right away!!!

3. I Let A Stranger Kiss My Baby On The Lips....

Yes, in the supermarket this week a random stranger took a bit of a shine to us.

She was behind us at the checkout, with her family, and she kept trying to talk to me....she was very over-friendly - kept making jokes and calling me Girlfriend as if we'd known each other for years.

She was behind us as we went to the carpark.

She kept commenting on how gorgeous Tyne is....she commented on him looking just like me and stroked my face.

I should have heard alarm bells then and snatched Tyne away!

But nope - before I know what was happening, she had leaned right in and kissed him right on the lips. 

A perfect stranger - sharing her mouth germs with my baby.

Wrong.....wrong wrong wong!!! 

Who kisses a strangers baby on the lips?!!!!

Of course I came home and sprayed Aquaint sanitising spray directly into his mouth many many times over......over reacting?! Me?! Never!

Have you had any FML moments recently?! As always, I'd love to hear from you!
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