Monday, 9 November 2015

3 Ways In Which I Suck As A Mummy

Bad Mummy

Sometimes I worry that the nature of blogging means I might come across as some kind of Mary Poppins type mother...When I started this blog at 7 months pregnant with my first child I was determined it was going to be a space to be brutally honest about all aspects of parenting and sometimes I worry that in my keenness to share our fun activities, and updates on the boys development along with all the cute photos I've perhaps lost my way on that a little bit...

So allow me to remedy that.

Today I want to be very honest about all the aspects of parenting that I am a total failure at.

Of which there are many.

I hate feeling like I`m not cutting the mustard when it comes to mummy-hood, so I try my best to grin and bear these things and act as though I`m enjoying them...but just the sheer amount of hatred I have for them makes me feel like a terrible mother in itself and brings all of that good old mummy-guilt flooding down on me! And I can't even drown my sorrows in gin coz I'm pregnant...marvellous!

So what are they?

1. I HATE THE PARK!!!!!!!

Like...I really, REALLY hate it. 
My 2 year old son, bless his heart, thinks that the many parks around where we live are some kind of heavenly Mecca for small children - there are sandpits, swings, all manner of things to crawl though, and fresh air aplenty - what's not to love?!

Well I'll tell you what's not to love...there are sandpits (Hello sand in my shoes without the fun of sunbathing on the beach), there are swings (for me to worry about him running past while some maniac child is apparently trying to touch the sun with his toes), there are all manner of things to crawl through (those new expensive Next jeans I just bought you are not made for that!) and there's fresh air aplenty (OVER RATED BORING FRESH AIR! THERE...I said it! I think fresh air is OVERATED AND DULL! ).

There's also a deplorable lack of benches for exhausted pregnant mothers like me to sit on, too many other kids flailing about and making me panic, and ...well...for gods sake I just like my nice warm cosy house, I'm not into all of this outside malarkey - its cold, and its boring, and I want to go home. Ok?!


Now this one makes me feel like possibly the worlds worst mother, every time my little boys ever-so-sweet voice beckons out "Mummy, do you want to play with me?"

I fear that deep down he knows the answer. But the thing's just SO much effort. He loves to play with playsets and little characters, but he is ever so bossy and I never get to be any character that I want to be...I always have to be "The baddy" and I always have to do and say exactly what he wants me to - so why do I even need to be there at all?! I'm just like some kind of Playmobil-wielding slave to his every command.

Plus he never wants to play up on the sofa where its comfortable, it's always on the floor and my pregnant hip-pain suffering self really doesn't find that so easy to do these days!


I so wish I was one of those perfect Pinterest mums who could spend ages crafting and making beautiful keepsakes that will be treasured for years to come whilst whiling away the hours chatting and giggling with my child as we happily paint, sew and stick together.

But the reality is...just lots and lots of mess.

I hate mess.

 I hate glue.

I hate sticky fingers (Mine or anyone elses!).

I`m not very creative. I never even enjoyed craft at school when I was a child myself! I used to prefer to spend the time painting my hands with PVA glue and peeling it off rather than actually trying to make anything (I didn't have the sticky finger aversion back then apparently...)

My son, bless him, watches a lot of crafting videos on YouTube and now regularly asks me "Will you craft with me Mummy? Like the Mummies on YouTube do?".....AAAAARGH THE GUILT!

I could go on and on about my parenting fails, but let's face's just making me feel bad! So I'll leave it here for now and save the rest (and ohhh there are many!) for another day! 

What do you consider to be your parenting fails and do they make you feel as guilty as I do?! Please share with me, and let me know I`m not the only one!

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