Wednesday, 13 January 2016

9 Fictional Mothers I Become On Any Given Day

I can't speak on behalf of all women, maybe it's just me, but I find that on any given day - from the point of waking up to the point of finally seeing the children plod up the stairs and tucking them into bed at the end of a long, exhausting "Mummy Face" changes pretty frequently.

I can never quite guarantee which of many Mummy Characters I might be from one day to the next, and I have to say - I don't really envy the children or my partner in trying to figure out which one to anticipate!

After a good nights sleep, I can wake up like Mary Poppins - practically perfect in every way with little birds twittering around me as we waltz our way through an all-singing, all-dancing breakfast routine....

But all it takes is a minor flaw in my plans to switch me from Mary to Maleficent - maybe we'll be out of milk for my much needed coffee or perhaps it'll be the age old step on a Lego brick that does it, but something will happen and my mood will be changed and I'll descend into a thunderous witch for the rest of the morning.

Recently I've been thinking about the many Mothers from TV & Fiction that I can become on any given day of the week....I have it down to 9.

1. Carol Brady (The Brady Bunch)

The epitome of the stereotypical perfect mother! Always smiling, always sunny natured - you'll find her in the kitchen cooking a nice well balanced homecooked dinner for the family with a smile on her face at all times.

I like to think I have my Carol Brady moments - not too many of them that's for sure! (Even fewer during pregnancy, I do wonder how much of a part gin played in Carol's sunny demeanor?!)  But every now and then....

2. Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)

The much put-upon, ever exasperated Marge - always something to deal with, always somebodys problem to solve.

I feel at my most "Marge" when my partner has done yet another something silly in an effort to "help" which has somehow gone wrong and inevitably led to yet more work for me...that's when I hear that infamous Marge Simpson scowl come out of my mouth! 

3. Lorelai Gilmore (The Gilmore Girls)

Yes sometimes, I can be the "cool mum" - I pride myself on the fact that 98% of the time my son DEFINITELY thinks I'm the cool parent! I'm the one who lets the rules slide, the one who suggests stories at midnight when he can't sleep, the one who lets him get all of his toys out two minutes before bedtime, the one who suggests Hot Chocolate or Popcorn and a Dvd, the one who makes Monster faces in his mashed potato...In those ways, I can be very Lorelai (not least because of my high caffeine dependency)

I also like to think I'll remain a pretty "cool mum" when the kids get older...I'm sure i'll still like modern music and TV, I think I'll be pretty "hip"?! But then again....would a "cool mum" really say those things?!

4. Samantha Stephens (Bewitched)

You know those days when everything is just going to hell and you need to pull some kind of small miracle out of your behind?! 

Take this week for example, when both kids were sick, I'd torn ligaments in my foot and could barely walk, was halfway through taking down Christmas decorations and had pacified Tyne with a whole box of Cadbury Heroes and his Ipad...when the health visitor knocked to do the 9 month check on Noah that had completely slipped my mind!

In those moments - when you have precisely 0.5 seconds to do a general sweep of the room to make it look presentable, wipe the chocolate out of your toddlers hair and throw some trousers on him, brush your own hair for the first time that day and open the door with a forced smile and act as though you knew she was coming - I do feel a little like I have some of Samantha's witchcraft skills!

5. Frankie Heck (The Middle)

I love Frankie...she makes me feel like I'm not the only one!

From her months spent washing dishes in the shower when her sink collapsed and she couldn't afford to fix it, to her openly sniffing underwear from the laundry basket to see which pair is most re-usable - she just makes me feel so much better about my dry-shampoo-coz-its-quicker-than-washing, put-some-selotape-on-it-and-pray-it-holds approach to mummy life!!

6. Mommie Dearest!

Anyone who's seen this movie (One of my all time favourites!) will recognise this terrifying "I SAID NO WIRE HANGERS" infamous scene!

And yes...I'm ashamed to admit it...but I have a touch of the Mommie Dearest's about certain things around the house myself. I blame the obsessive Virgo in me, but I can definitely rival Faye Dunaway's Crazy Face when I find pyjamas in the vest drawers or - worse still - trains in the toy car box!! *The Horror*

7. Old Mother Hubbard

This is the mother I've been today....after the Christmas madness of existing solely on sausage rolls and leftover bits of Yule Log, I came to cook our first proper meal - only to find our cupboards very much bare!!! 

Don't you hate those days when you have to come up with a meal out of some questionable carrots, leftover chilli and cornflake dust?!!

8. Queen Nerissa (Enchanted)

Yep, I admit my very worst moments - when my temper has been REALLY provoked (Usually by my partner rather than the kids to be fair!)...I definitely have Queen Nerissa's fire breathing dragon potential!

and finally ...this one is more how I see my future self once baby number 3 arrives next month....

10. The Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe!

With so many kids, she didn't know what to do!!! ;) At least that's how I feel when I tell people I'm expecting again'd think there were 30 of them already!!!

Which fictional mothers do you most identify with? As always, I'd love to hear from you!

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