Monday, 9 May 2016

3 Babies in 3 Years: 9 Truths, 1 Lie

9 Truths....
1) You will be touched by another human for 98% of the day, everyday - there's never a moment of the day that I don't have one of the children on me. If I'm standing up - I'll be rocking the baby and the older two will be pawing at my legs, shouting "CARRY! CARRY!" at me or just generally trying to climb me like a tree. If I'm sitting down, I'll be feeding the baby and the older two will be fighting to the death over who gets to sit on my "spare knee" and tramping all over my feet in the process.

When they finally go to sleep I really appreciate and NEED that time to just not be touched by anybody. There is no such thing as personal space when you have 2 babies and a toddler.

2) Somebody always needs something - the youngest baby needs feeding and changing ALL THE TIME, the oldest baby is always hungry and wanting snacks, new toys, changing etc and then there's the toddler who's pretty demanding all by himself... You're lucky if there's half an hour during any given day when you don't have to do something for somebody. By the time you've gone through the cycle of changing nappies and doing potty time, it's almost time to start back at the beginning and do it all over again. My life is one constant cycle of nappies, snacks and cleaning up. 

3) You think getting out of the house with one or two kids is difficult? Try it with Irish twins plus a toddler! The sheer amount of things you need and thought that has to go in to the logistics of how to safely get all of them in to the car at once (who do you leave behind while you take the other in?!), and then out of the car, and then what about when you get there?! How are you going to keep an eye on that many kids and keep them all fed, and changed, and entertained safely all at once?! Plus there's the fact that despite being so close in age physically, they are POLES apart developmentally so there really isn't any place to go that covers all of their needs - baby classes, soft play centres, the park...they are all the stuff of nightmares to me right now and quite simply can do one! 

4) The amount of money you spend on nappies, wipes and clothes is doubled...which is NOT cheap. Just kiss goodbye to any spare money for the foreseeable future. And you WILL put the wrong nappy on the wrong baby a good few times until you wonder why the baby is leaking poop everywhere....umm because thats a size 5 nappy on a 1 month old, whoops!

5) Your brain will probably turn to mush - Baby brain is a real thing. We've established that. But try having 2 babies in less than a year....DOUBLE the baby brain!!! I'm amazed I even remember my own name most days.

6)  There is almost always somebody crying at any given moment during the day - as long as that somebody isn't you, you have to chalk that up to the "win" list and get on with it.

7) The COMMENTS...Oh dear Lord, the comments! I am seriously considering having the following tattooed onto my forehead "Yes they're all mine! Yes I have my hands full! The first two were planned (ish), the third was a biiiiiig surprise! Yes I know what's causing it! Yes I have a TV! "

8) And my personal favourite comment is...."Oooh, but didn't you want a girl?!"...Well no actually I quite liked the idea of 3 boys, but even if I had wanted a doesn't actually work that way!? It's not like somebody at Baby HQ messed up my order and I thought "Oh never mind, it's here now...let's just keep it"...It's kind of a Get What You're Given situation!

9) Life was not made for people with more than 1 baby at a time... You need to fit two cots and a toddler bed into your little house at once? That'll be a squeeze! But try going on holiday with those little tikes?! No chance! Places just do not cater to families needing space for TWO travel cots and a toddler bed...not unless you want to pay through the nose, anyway.

 Fitting three car seats into your car...including two bulky Infant seats? Again, that's a tough one! (We just about managed after spending an eternity looking for 3 lots of 43cm wide seats!)

And how about going grocery shopping? Good luck getting your 3 children around the shop safely because there are NO trolleys to get them all into at's hard enough to find a trolley with two baby seats! And even then you need to keep hold of the toddler, so you have one spare hand to push the trolley and put the food in...excellent!

And the one lie?

It's nothing but work, stress and mayhem...

 It REALLY isn't. Yes there are a LOT of moments of work, stress and mayhem but actually there are a lot of absolutely lovely, melt-your-heart moments that you wouldn't change for the world. Like when the Bigger Baby kisses the Tiny Baby all by himself without you asking him to. Or when the Toddler declares "I'll look after the baby!" and runs over to give him a big cuddle and whispers "I love you, you're my best friend". Or when they oldest two are wrestling each other on the floor in fits of giggles.

And when all 3 of them are sleeping at once and you peek in on each of them? It's just the best thing ever and you know you wouldn't change it for the world.*

(*But you better back that shit up out of there ASAP if their eyelids start to flicker coz for the love of GOD woman, do NOT wake the beasts!)

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