Thursday, 14 November 2019

Dating Tips From A Single Parent

With the festive season around the corner and so much focus on the relationships in our lives, it can be a tricky time of year for those who are single.

Whilst I personally don't see being single as a bad thing at all - in fact I think there's a great deal of power in living life on your own terms and not settling for somebody purely to avoid being lonely - the fact remains that this time of year no doubt brings invites to Christmas parties and gatherings where you're surrounded by couples. And so naturally, many people start to think about dating.

In my opinion, this is the perfect time of year to start having some fun with dating - there's so much going on everywhere, and the festive period really lends itself to some very romantic first-date settings - think evening strolls through the Christmas markets, mulled wine in hand and fairy lights illuminating the way. Perfect!

But when it comes to dating as a parent, there can often be a lot of hurdles - from making the time to meet new people to handling the emotions that dating someone new can bring - today I'm sharing 5 tips from a friend of mine who has recently re-entered the dating scene as a single mother.

1) Be In The Right Head Space

I can't express enough how crucial it is to make sure you're in the right head space before you even think about starting to date.
If you're fresh out of a relationship - are you sure that you've grieved for it? Are you certain that you're not looking to get revenge on an ex or to bury your feelings by busying yourself with someone new? Because as tempting as those coping mechanisms are - they're likely to just bring about more pain in the long run.

It's far better to take some time, and get comfortable with your own company before you start to date again.

When you start dating you should be in the mindset of being happy and content with your life, and simply looking to add to that by meeting someone that you enjoy being around.

And never go into dating someone with the expectation of replacing someone else - you're not looking for a new Mummy or Daddy for the kids, you're just looking for someone to have a nice time with and get to know.

2) Where To Meet Someone New?

So once you're in the right head space and ready to get out there and mingle, where do you actually go to meet new people?!

This can become even more tricky when you're a parent as you have the problem of finding babysitters and working around school nights and kids schedules - thankfully we live in the digital age and online dating should not be dismissed - in fact it is an absolute godsend!

No longer is online dating a thing of shame, instead it's now actually how % of people meet their long term partners.

Using a dating website like We Love Dates allows you to meet and chat to people from the comfort of your own home, get to know them and build a rapport with them before you commit to actually going out on a date. Meaning you can hopefully weed out anyone you're not compatible with before going to the trouble and expense of getting a babysitter!

3) Be Open About The Fact That You're A Parent

So once you've found people you're interested in dating - how do you bring up the subject of your children?

Well - immediately and unapologetically! In my opinion, it's best to be open and honest about your family status from the very beginning. Mention in your dating profile that you have children so that anyone who finds this off-putting doesn't contact you to begin with.

And remember that anyone who has a problem with it just isn't worth your time.

4) Never Apologise For Having Children!

Your children are, of course, a huge part of your life and that's just not something that you need to apologise for. Be mindful of the language you use about your status as a single parent - words like "Baggage"  are old fashioned and damaging.  Be proud of your family and your life - and know that anybody who gets to meet them would be lucky to do so!

5) Take It Slowly

It goes without saying, but introducing new people to your children is something you want to take at a slow and steady pace. Don't allow yourself to be pushed into any introductions before you're ready, no matter how keen the other person might be - and by the same token, be respectful of the other persons wishes too - wait until you're both ready before introducing your children.

Good luck in your dating endeavours and remember - above all else - have fun!

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