Watching parents getting divorced and
adjusting to a new way of life in separate homes can be stressful for children.
Adults tend to be caught up in what is happening and, without intending to, can
cause stress for kids. After all, children have limited life experience, and
this could be the most difficult thing to ever happen to them.
Making sure that your child processes your
divorce in a healthy way is very important. As a parent, it’s your job to
support them and make sure that they get the necessary help they need. Whilst
the legal side of divorce can be handled by family law solicitors, it’s important for parents to concentrate on settling
themselves and children in to a new way of life. Keep reading for tips on
helping your child process a divorce…
How Can Divorce Impact a
Child?
Divorce can impact a child in a number of
different ways. There are several emotional and psychological issues to
consider. It’s very common for children to feel upset and angry following a
divorce. Some of them might believe that it is their fault that their parents
are divorcing and then start to blame themselves for the separation.
Divorce can often create mental health problems for
children. Some children become depressed, others become angry, and
most experience anxiety. A divorce is a life-changing event that can shatter a
child’s worldview.
How to Help a Child Process
Divorce
1.
Talk With Them
The first thing you can do is sit down and have
a proper conversation with your child. Depending on the age of your child, you
might have to have a different type of conversation, but you need to make sure
they understand what’s happening, but also that it’s not their fault. Children
need to know that the decision of two people to divorce is not because of them,
and both parents still love them.
2.
See a Child Therapist
If your child is struggling with your divorce,
enlist the help of a child therapist. It might sound cliche, but it
gets results. A child therapist is trained to help children process their
feelings in a safe, healthy way, which you might not be qualified to help them
do.
3.
Give Them Time
If your child struggles with the ramifications
of a divorce, give them time to process it. Don’t expect your child to be
completely okay with the divorce in a week. Sometimes, it can take months or
even years for a child to fully adjust to the idea of a divorce.
4.
Don’t Fight in Front of Them
Whatever relationship you have with your
ex-partner, do not fight with them in front of your child. The last thing they
need to see is their parents having a bitter argument on the doorstep. Keep
arguments in a private setting.
5.
Be Present
Try to be present for your child as the
divorce begins to unfold. The last thing you want for your child is for them to
become emotionally withdrawn because you’re not available to them. Make sure
that you put aside some time to spend with them to help them get through this.
6.
Be Reassuring
Dealing with divorcing parents is a long-term
situation. As a parent, the best thing that you can do is to be present and
reassuring for your child. Make sure they understand that you will always be
there for them and that both of you still love them very much.
Helping Your Child Through the Process of a Divorce
Ultimately, helping a child process a divorce
is difficult. There is no instruction manual on how to deal with separation, so
you have to help your child find a safe, healthy approach that works for them.
Whatever happens, a child needs to grow up knowing that both parents love them,
so you and your partner need to agree to reinforce the same message on both
sides.
