Sparkles & Stretchmarks: A UK Parenting & Pregnancy Blog: Thursdays Thing I Hate: Mummy Guilt!

Thursday, 22 August 2013

Thursdays Thing I Hate: Mummy Guilt!

Before having Tyne, there were many things that people warned me about - lack of sleep, house being over-run with toys, etc etc.....
 
But nobody ever told me about the Mummy Guilt....
 
Mummy Guilt is something I now experience on a daily, if not hourly, basis - it seems that no matter how well I think I'm doing and how hard I try - I always end up feeling guilty about something.
 
I always feel that there's MORE I should be doing - if it's a rainy day and I haven't felt like braving the torrential weather I feel guilty because Tyne hasn't had any fresh air that day.
 
 If I dare to allow Jon to see to Tyne in the morning so that I can lie-in, I feel guilty because he must have been wondering where I've been all morning and thinking I've abandoned him.....
 
The list goes on.....
 
Here are a few examples of occasions when my Mummy Guilt has faced off against my basic human needs.....
 
 
Extreme Tiredness Vs Baby
 
 
 
The Scenario: Its 5 am. I haven't slept yet. Every time I have tried, Baby's in-built Adult Sleep Detector has gone off alerting him to the fact that Mummy is about to fall asleep - so he's woken up and exercised those glass-shattering lungs of his until I've picked him up.
 
Baby's Guilt Trip: He looks up at me with his big blue eyes and gives me his big gummy grin.... he think's its playtime.
 
The Result: My body aches for sleep, my eyes are so sore I can barely see him - but Baby Wins! We head downstairs to play.....
 
My Favourite Programme Vs Baby
 
 
 
The Scenario: After a day full of baby-focused activities, Modern Family/Man Vs Food/Don't Tell The Bride is on and I REALLY want to watch it.....Daddy says he'll entertain Baby while I chill out with my coffee and watch the show.
 
Baby's Guilt Trip: No matter what Daddy tries - Baby cries and cries, and looks at me while he does it with an expression that seems to say "Excuse me, YOU are the Mum - how dare you leave me with HIM!"
 
The Result: I press the "record" button and the programme is banished to an ever-growing list of recorded half-watched shows that I may eventually get around to finishing once he's started school....or university....
 
 
My Empty Bank Account Vs Baby
 
 
 
The Scenario: We're out shopping for essential things like food - when we pass the dreaded Baby Clothes section....I know he doesn't need anymore clothes, He knows he doesn't need anymore clothes, his Dad very vocally reminds me that he doesn't need anymore clothes....but then I see something that is JUST SO CUTE that would suit him so much.....
 
Baby's Guilt Trip: I hold up the item, just to see how it looks....and he looks at me and giggles in apparent approval....it's like he's ASKING me for it......
 
The Result: A wardrobe bursting full of more clothes than he will ever be able to wear - and a rather pathetic looking figure on my bank statement.....
 
My Appearance Vs Baby
 
 
 
The Scenario: It's morning, we're about to go out, Baby is all done up to the 9's looking as cute as ever - its time for me to get ready.
He's fed, he's content - I bring him up to my room and lay him on the bed so I can talk to him while I get dressed. But suddenly he's not so content anymore....
 
Baby's Guilt Trip: As I am trying desperately to get dressed, scraping my hair up in a bun and throwing on a bit of make up all whilst singing "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and dancing around like a mad woman to try and keep him entertained .... Baby is throwing the biggest wobbler you have ever seen, despite the fact that there is absolutely nothing wrong with him and he just wants to be picked up - right now - even though I have make up on my fingers.....
 
The Result: Lots of baby clothes with make-up finger stains, and me going out with mascara on one eye on more than one occasion.....
 
As you can see from the above examples, the Mummy Guilt will ALWAYS win - whatever Tyne wants, he pretty much gets it and whatever I had wanted to just has to wait.
 
I suppose I'd better get used to it - I hear the Mummy Guilt is here to stay!!!!
 
What are your experiences with Mummy Guilt?! As always, I'd love to hear from you!
 


18 comments:

  1. It never goes away. Now that my son can watch a little TV when we come in from playing he thinks it automatically Cameron's TV, although Family Feud just comes on and I want 30 minutes to "think" like an adult. Cameron shows me those beautiful big gray eyes and its all over - Yes Cameron, you can watch Peppa Pig LOL.

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  2. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    I don't have much else to say I'm afraid except 'you're right', mummy guilt always gets the better of us. I thought it would get better with the second one but if anything, it's worse. If I even leave Oscar with Nathan for 10 minutes to have a quick bath I feel rotten. The result? Taking him with me and sitting him at the side of the bath in his bouncy chair. But then Stacey and all her soft toys decide to join us too. I wonder at what age this will stop?! Lol.

    Lou xxx

    Confessions of a Secret Shopper

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  3. This is all so true! You've hit the nail on the head so much here.

    The makeup on fingers, baby wanting picking up, is true for me everyday - I give up most days and just settle for a little bit of foundation.

    And the guilt about fresh air.. We don't get out a lot and I know Ethan really likes being outside :(


    Alex
    www.Bump-to-Baby.com
    UK based Lifestyle & Parenting Blog


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  4. haha this is so funny! i think every mum can relate to all of these! x

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  5. Great post, I have all this to look forward to! Ps. LOVE man v Food, definitely my guilty pleasure TV!

    Vicky x

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  6. I definitely get attacks of Mummy Guilt - usually if we don't go out due to torrential rain, like you said, or at the moment as I'm trying to wean D off breastmilk.

    I think mummy guilt stems from what society expects of you and part of the reason I started up my blog, is because I believe that just because you have had a baby, you're still a person with your own needs - and you have every right to exercise them!

    It can be hard, but I always say 'do one thing everyday for yourself', it makes everything seem so much easier when you can manage it!
    x

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  7. Ahhh Mummy Guilt....lol I know it well!! I can relate and mine are 5 & 10 years old and still make me feel so guilty...

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  8. That made me smile. I can fully relate to the clothes buying thing. I am terrible for it. I tell the OH ''I need to buy some clothes for myself'' - come back home from shopping with nothing but baby clothes!!

    The baby in that picture is uber cute, I want to pick him up and squeeze :p

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  9. I soooo get the bank one. Literally every penny I have get spent on Noah! xx

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  10. It never leaves my eldest is 9 and youngest 2 and I still have mummy guilt

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  11. Great post - agree with everything

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  12. I love these honest posts of yours Hayley. I think every mother has this guilt, my particular moment is the sleeping one. I'm just exhausted all the time no matter how much sleep I get so Jacek has begun getting up with the baby in the mornings. I think we'll have this forever, all part of being a mammy!

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  13. hehe that was brilliant, i can relate to all of this :)

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  14. Haha...I'm in the midst of TTC and really, I can't wait for the Mommy guilty. Ha! But in any case, it's nice to read some posts that are honest about having a baby. I'm kinda terrified of the lack of sleep!

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