Tuesday, 14 February 2017

A Letter To My Pregnant Self...



Dear Me in 2013...

I know that things all seem a bit frightening at the moment - you're pregnant with your first child, things are bit all over the place with where you're living and you don't really know what to expect from the birth...let alone from Motherhood!

You haven't had the easiest of pregnancies and you're so concerned about what's going to happen...you don't talk about it much but you spend every night lying awake, panicking, convincing yourself that you're never going to come out of that operating room alive after your c-section...you've imagined every possible horrible scenario in your head a million times but really it all boils down to one thing - you just can't imagine yourself as a mother.

And if it does all go smoothly, how are you going to manage?

You can't imagine being the one responsible for another little life, you can't imagine that you'll ever know what to do or how to act....but try to stop worrying so much.

Because those people who tell you that it will all fall into place? As annoying as it is...they're right.

The birth will be fine...in fact, I know you don't like to jinx things, but I'd even go as far as to say that the birth was downright simple and straightforward!

It was about as textbook as a c section delivery gets and you can hardly believe how quickly it's all over with...your recovery is quick and smooth too, in fact you'll be out shopping a couple of days later feeling on top of the world! Enjoy that experience...because it gets a bit harder the second and third time around...(Oh yes there are second and third times, and sooner than you can possibly imagine!)

I know that you get annoyed by people telling you to soak it all in and enjoy these newborn moments while you can, but...do try to. Because they really are gone in the blink of an eye and before you know it, that tiny little fluffy haired bundle in your arms will be a whirlwind of a little boy dashing around your living room who is simply too busy for that many cuddles...

And all those fears you have right now about raising a boy? All the worries and the feelings of guilt because you were secretly hoping for a girl...let them go. Because it's true what they say, once that baby arrives all of those things just stop being important...it's not about what they are, it's about who they are.

And honestly, you would never swap him for all of the baby girls in the world.

Your bond with him is special...and mothering comes quite naturally to you once you learn how to drown out all of the noise and just march to your own drum, so try to do that a little sooner.

Trust your instincts and be the mother you want to be, not the one other people think you should be.

I'm going to give you 3 practical pieces of advice to make these next few months a little bit easier for you:

1) Try a little harder to maintain your friendships

It's so easy when you're a new mum to focus on nothing but your new role and this new little person in your life, and there is nothing wrong with that of course ... but motherhood can be lonely sometimes, and you need some friends around you to make the load a little easier to carry. Try to text back a little faster, try to make the effort to send that email, just try to keep in touch with the people you want to keep in your life.

2) Don't laugh at the gross conversations your mum & sister have...you WILL be exactly the same!

I remember that conversation when they were discussing your nieces toilet habits in detail and you sat there with a disgusted look on your face as you declared "I will NEVER find this an acceptable topic of conversation...having a child is not a reason to talk about poo as though it's normal!"

Well....I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're wrong...you WILL discuss poo, and the colour of snot, and worse still....you'll do the bum sniff in public with zero shame! Welcome to Motherhood!

3) Don't Be Such A Spendaholic!

I know you think that you can never have enough adorable baby outfits and yes, you do get a lot of enjoyment out of dressing your little man up, but try to reign it in a little bit - he doesn't need 75 outfits for every season and he will grow out of most of those clothes before he even wears them!

In fact it's 3 babies later and you're STILL coming across items you bought in 2013 which still have all the tags on...

And while we're on the subject of saving money, try to start a little savings fund now for family holidays and incidentals as the kids get older...you'll be really glad of it!

You also need to make sure that you make a note of things like the Tesco Baby Event...you know how you currently feel about the end of season sale at Topshop? Well soon you'll feel that way about the Baby Event! 

In fact the Tesco Baby Event is on right now for two weeks and we managed to stock up on some amazing bargains today...seriously, put them in your calendar, they are your new best friend!

Most of all, over the coming months and years, just keep an open mind - your life may look a bit different to the way you've imagined it in the past but that really isn't a bad thing at all.

Your home will be full of love and laughter, and you have so much to look forward to...

Embrace the chaos. Enjoy it. And ride out the hard times, because a happy moment is never that far away.


*Written in collaboration with Tesco Baby Club

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15 comments

  1. Love the tips! so much I wish I'd known before becoming a mum... #sundaybest

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  2. Great post! was you up and out days after your section?? I was still in the hospital feeling numb!! lol

    #sundaybest

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  3. It's so true - preparing for your first baby is seriously scary and there are so many things you'll learn along the way. Now we're expecting our second baby I feel so much more prepared for what is about to happen, which is a good and bad thing I think! #SundayBest

    Helen x

    http://www.treasureeverymoment.co.uk/

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  4. Love this Hayley. Trying a little harder to maintain your friendships is such a valid one. It's so easy to become consumed with pregnancy and having a baby and forget about the world around you. I definately need to make more time for my friendships. Especially as Archer is now one,I have no excuse bar lazyness! ;) x

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  5. Oh I love this. The benefits of hindsight eh? x #SundayBest

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  6. You know things will change when you become a Mum, but I don't think you realise quite how much. Although I didn't need a c-section, I worried through my whole pregnancy - it'd have been great to have a letter from my future self! Love this post :)
    #SundayBest

    http://www.autumnsmummyblog.com

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  7. So sweet! Maintaining those friendships is a struggle- esp when all girlfriends get pulled in a million different directions.
    #sundaybest

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  8. Definitely embrace the chaos, I say that to myself everyday! #SundayBest

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  9. So true!! I also secretly wanted a girl and worried about bringing a boy up, but from what I hear - girls are harder work and boys give mummy more cuddles so its a win win situation for me! haha! Oh and the clothes overspending? Yeah - there is outfits he's never worn i've just slung out. so devasted... #sundaybest

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  10. If only we could have a chat with our former selves. Mine would definitely be to save some money for a rainy day. Lovely bump picture x #SundayBest

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  11. I love this post! So funny and great for first time mums to read! We all have the snot/poo conversations as mummies :-)
    #sundaybest

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  12. I have so many outfits for Peachy and some were never worn. As a new mom or expectant mom you just don't realize how quickly babies actually grow. But it's not all our fault. They make those outfits so adorable and you can find them at a decent price. These days I still buy tonnes of outfits but I buy them in different sizes and stash them for the future. I just can't not buy those adorable outfits when they're on sale. #SundayBest

    Peachy and her Mommy

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  13. Ah there is so much I wish I could tell my pregnant self! I'm so impressed that you were up and shopping so soon, it took me months to recover from mine! X

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  14. Good common sense approach with practical tips here Hayley! Adding the events into the calendar is an excellent idea, I'd never though of doing that will will do from now on!!! As far as the clothes go, I seem to be constantly going up to the attic to take down the next bag of clothes for Nip#2 and putting the ones she's grown out of away but she's so many of them she hasn't worn a fair few of them!! Well written post. #SundayBest

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