For some people, understanding relationships can be
confusing. That said, is communicating with one another the key to a happy
relationship? Discover more, here…
To many people out there, the secret to a good relationship
might seem unattainable. That said, it really isn’t a labyrinth to explore or a
treasure chest to unlock. The pillar of any good relationship is communication.
Communicating is not always an easy skill to master.
For some, hiding away from your feelings might be the best way you cope.
However, when another person’s feelings are in the picture, a different
approach must be taken so you don’t have to resort to getting family
law legal advice.
If you’re concerned that your relationship is falling apart,
perhaps your missing this key cornerstone of any solid romance. Want to
discover more about why communication is the key to a good relationship,
and how to do so effectively? Well, you came to the right place…
Types of Communication
Before we delve into the best ways to communicate in
order to avoid the divorce lawyer, let’s first get acquainted with the
different types of communication.
Listening
Communicating in relationships begins with listening.
But that doesn’t mean hearing what your other half is saying, whilst you fidget,
do the chores, or stare at the TV screen. Instead, here are some top tips which
can help you to practice good listening:
·
Don’t fiddle or fidget with anything.
·
Maintain eye contact throughout, which can be
achieved by remaining at the same level - either sitting or standing - and
facing each other.
·
Don’t walk around and do other activities; sit
down with the person, so they know they have your full attention.
·
Reply with questions which prompt further
understanding of what’s being said.
·
Use appropriate non-verbal communication to show
you’re listening, including nodding, and relevant facial expressions.
·
Minimise interruptions by muting the television,
or turning your phones on silent.
By ensuring to do all of the above, this will help to assert
that you’re showing genuine interest throughout. By listening effectively,
you’ll be able to react accordingly, and maybe you’ll learn something new along
the way!
Verbal Communication
This type of communication is pretty straightforward,
and involves using words and sounds to express yourself. So, forget hand
gestures and facial expressions; it’s all about what the other person is
saying. Think Netflix’s Love is Blind, where they talk to each other
through a wall; if you know, you know.
Non-Verbal Communication
Another means for communicating information is non-verbal
communication, which is all about gestures and facial expressions. Even
giving someone the silent treatment and ignoring them altogether is a form of
communication in itself.
That said, this type of behaviour, if practiced repeatedly,
is often seen as part of a controlling or coercive
relationship. So, in the interest of ensuring that you’re maintaining a
healthy and loving relationship, combining verbal and non-verbal
communication is key.
Collaborative Communication
Our final type of communication is collaborative,
which is – you guessed it – equal conversations. You might be thinking that
participating in a conversation is simple, however, many people make the
mistake of simply waiting for their turn to talk. That said, conversing with
someone isn’t all about what you can give, but what you can get too.
The aim of collaborative communication is to ensure
everyone within the conversation matters. They’re all listened to in equal
measure, and contribute to the talking in equal measure as well. This sort of
communication, like listening, is the pillar to any good relationship.
Why is Communicating so Important in a Relationship?
Communicating effectively not only helps you to
understand how one another feels about certain things. It also has the power to
heal, and the power to build trust. By helping you to avoid misunderstandings,
you’ll be able to quash arguments before they even begin.
What’s more, by expressing your thoughts and feelings, you
may even learn something about yourself along the way. Then, by understanding
how you feel about something more, you’ll be able to learn about the ways you
can compromise with one another.
A Working Example of Where Communication Works:
Say one of you has a problem about something the other
person does. Be it not cleaning up after themselves, talking to other girls via
messenger, or liking other boys’ gym pictures. You can’t expect the other
person to read your mind; don’t assume they see these things as wrong.
By talking about your feelings towards these actions, the
other person can ask any questions they have, and learn to understand you
better. This way, not only can the problems be addressed, and efforts made to
fix it, but you can learn more about your relationship in the process.
Top Tips for Communicating Effectively
So, how can we communicate to ensure we’re listening,
reacting, and talking to each other in the most effective way possible? Some
top tips are as follows:
·
Say ‘I feel…’ instead of ‘you are…’: this
way, the other person won’t be able to get defensive, as they can’t dispute your
feelings, and won’t feel attacked.
·
Be as clear as possible: try and explain
your thoughts in detail so that you avoid misunderstanding each other.
·
Try and think about what you want to say
before you say it: this can help to avoid any nasty remarks or comments
which could upset the other person. Perhaps even write your thoughts down
beforehand to collect your ideas together to avoid this.
·
Ask each other about how your day was:
something as simple as this can invoke a conversation about a funny event that
occurred, or a person they’re friends with. This way, you can learn more about
one another’s lives outside of each other.
·
Accept responsibility where it’s due: this
way, you can apologise for what you’ve done, and take actions to avoid it in
future.
·
Talk face-to-face: avoid messaging one
another with your problems, as tone of voice can’t be read through this.
·
Listen: we’ve already discussed the
importance of listening, and it really is paramount for communicating well.
This way, you can learn to understand the other person’s feelings and wants, so
you can address them accordingly.
·
Adjust your tone of voice: if you feel as
though you might be speaking too abruptly or harshly, change it up to avoid
hurting anyone’s feelings.
·
Don’t just share the negatives: by
exploring how you’re feeling in a positive sense, and not just communicating
the bad stuff, you’ll ignite positivity all-round.
·
Body language is key: as we mentioned
above, making sure your non-verbal communication is appropriate is very
important. Don’t give the silent treatment, don’t roll your eyes, don’t fold
your arms; be as open as possible.
·
Avoid being nasty: this comes with the
language you use, your tone of voice, and your body language.
·
Timing is everything: by ensuring you
time your conversation well, when distractions aren’t available and the mood is
good, you should avoid any unnecessary conflicts.
·
Honesty is the best policy: don’t hide
away anything, as this can affect the trust between you. By laying all your
cards on the table, nothing can be misunderstood in the process.
·
Forgive: this obviously applies within
reason, but it’s paramount that you understand that no one is perfect all the
time. Acknowledge that you’re both human, you make mistakes, and that, if
you’re willing to try, you can get through anything.
Need More Help in Understanding Relationships?
See! Communicating effectively doesn’t have to be difficult.
It all starts with listening attentively, and the rest should follow suit.
If, after this, you still feel as though you need help with
your relationship, there are a number of avenues you can take before getting a
family law solicitor involved. Research your problems online, talk to a
therapist, and talk to each other as much as you can.
If you have any more relationships advice with
regards to communication, I’d love to hear it in the comments below. None of us
are experts, and we’re all just doing our best, but every little helps, after
all! I’m sure we can exchange thoughts and ideas to come to the aid of at least
someone out there…
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