Your life has changed dramatically, you’ve
been through a major physical trauma, and you are suddenly responsible for a
new life: It’s no wonder that, as a new mother, you’re feeling stressed!
Although motherhood is a wonderful experience in many ways, there’s no doubt
that it’s incredibly challenging. Sometimes you need some strategies to reduce
your stress levels.
1.
Find
Small Moments for Yourself
Parenting requires a lot of self-sacrifice,
and time to yourself is high up on that list. However, it’s crucial for your
wellbeing to find those moments that are just for you. You may be unable to
sleep late every day or go out for dinner every night, but that doesn’t mean
you can’t dedicate time for yourself.
Look at your schedule and childcare support to
figure out when you can find time for yourself. Even 10 or 15 minutes alone,
not doing chores, can be rejuvenating. Try to be intentional and mindful about
the moments you already have. For instance, rather than chugging your cup of
coffee while you clear up the kitchen, sit down for five minutes and savor your
drink. You can make even a simple ritual like this feel special with simple
touches such as using inspirational coffee mugs or listening
to your favorite song.
2.
Establish
a Support Network of Other Parents
The benefits of having a network of people you
can rely on, turn to for support, and share your experiences with cannot be
underestimated. Although some of the people you depend on the most may be
friends and family members without children, it’s a good idea to build up a
relationship with a group of other parents, particularly mothers. Having the
opportunity to discuss the things you are going through with people
experiencing similar issues is invaluable. A group like this is also a great
place to swap tips and get the lowdown on all things parenting.
Parent and baby groups are a good place to
meet other mothers, but also consider exploring online parenting communities.
They involve less commitment than face-to-face meetups, and some people feel
more able to open up in an anonymous forum. If you can attend a face-to-face
group, make sure you take the appropriate safety precautions, such as washing your
hands and wearing cute face masks.
3. Learn
How to Decline Unsolicited Advice Politely
Although getting support and advice from other
parents is incredibly useful, many people find that when they become parents,
they start to receive unsolicited advice and opinions from just about everyone.
Fielding these comments can be stressful in itself, and it’s hard not to take
these comments as judgments on your parenting.
Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that you avoid
these pearls of wisdom altogether; however, by preparing responses, you can let
people know, fairly but firmly, that their advice is appreciated but not wanted
and will make you feel more in control of these situations. Often a simple “I
already have a plan for handling this, but thank you for your perspective” can
put an end to unwanted advice. It might feel hard to say at first, but it will
come more naturally as you get accustomed to setting this boundary.
4.
Try
Not to Put Unrealistic Expectations on Yourself
Mothers are put under a considerable amount of
pressure to be perfect and make the right decisions all the time. The stress of
attempting to live up to these unrealistic expectations is detrimental to your
wellbeing. The pressure that many moms feel covers all areas of their life such
as work, breastfeeding, physical appearance, and parenting, and it can be
overwhelming, but ignoring it is much easier said than done. One way you can
alleviate the pressure is to purposefully take one thing off your mental list
of things you should be doing better. Actively say to yourself that you are
letting yourself off the hook: It can wait. Remember, being a new mother is
hard; cut yourself some slack.
5. Go Outside Every Day
According to research by the Environmental
Protection Agency, the majority of Americans spend 90% of their lives
indoors, and new parents are no exception. There’s so much work involved
with looking after a newborn that it’s easy to spend the whole day in the
house. While there’s nothing wrong with this in the short-term, spending time
outdoors is crucial for your wellbeing. The American Institute of Stress claims
that being outdoors significantly reduces stress.
Building an outdoor walk into your daily routine will help you connect to the
wider world and give you a good dose of fresh air and vitamin D.
6.
Establish
a Routine for Yourself as Well as the Baby
Once you pick up the habit of spending time
outside every day, you will probably notice that having that predictability
feels good. That’s because regular routines can help to reduce stress and ward
off anxiety. Most parents are aware of the need for their children to have
routines, but it’s easy to forget that structure is essential for adults, too,
especially at a time when so much in your life has changed, such as when you have
a newborn. By planning activities such as exercise, showers, and your bedtime,
you will relieve the pressure of trying to figure out when to do these things
and maybe even give yourself something to look forward to. Although having an
infant forces you to be flexible, creating a structure for yourself can
positively impact your stress levels.
When
Outside Help Is Needed
For many women, having a newborn and adjusting
to motherhood is a stressful experience; your life has changed radically and,
suddenly, you are responsible for a new life. Not to mention the lack of sleep!
Making small changes, such as spending time outdoors and reaching out to other
moms, can make a huge difference to your experience and improve your state of
mind.
While lots of mothers feel stress during this
period, some women struggle with postpartum depression or anxiety. Educate
yourself about the common signs of these illnesses and seek help if you are
suffering.
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