I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that my body has felt like I’m trying to pilot an alien ship ever since I turned 40. I knew menopause lay ahead and that changes were likely to come, but nothing could have prepared me for just how quickly things started to happen—or how overwhelming it all would be.
For the last year or so, my body hasn’t felt like my own. I’ve struggled with fatigue so intense it’s been a battle just to drag myself up the stairs in my own home—the very same stairs I used to dash up two at a time just a couple of years ago. I’ve had daily headaches, brain fog so intense that words vanish from my mind mid-sentence, stomach troubles, joint pain, and heart palpitations that have had me Googling “Am I dying?” more times than I care to admit. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’m permanently boiling hot, I carry fans from room to room like they’re oxygen tanks, I feel dizzy and nauseous most days, and my get-up-and-go has truly got up and gone.
For months, I genuinely thought something serious must be wrong. It wasn’t until I started connecting the dots—my cycle becoming more erratic, my periods shifting from their usual pattern to floods that kept me housebound—that I began to suspect perimenopause. Some blood tests confirmed it. And while it was a relief to finally have an answer, I was left asking: Now what?
Here’s what I’ve learned since then—and what I wish someone had told me sooner. If you’re in the thick of perimenopause and feeling like you’ve lost the plot (or your body, or your sanity), you’re not alone. These ten tips have helped me regain some control, feel a little more like myself, and, most importantly, realise that it does get better.
1. Track Everything (Yes, Everything)
Keeping a symptom journal might sound tedious, but it’s a game-changer. Track your period, sleep, mood, energy levels, food intake, and physical symptoms. Patterns start to emerge, and you’ll be able to better predict the days that might feel harder. It also gives you concrete information to share with your GP or specialist, making it easier to get the support you need.
2. Prioritise Sleep (Even if It Feels Impossible)
Perimenopause often messes with sleep—thanks to hot flashes, anxiety spikes, and restless legs. I have spent many nights laying wide awake! But I’ve found that taking magnesium-rich supplements at bedtime, avoiding screens an hour before bed, and investing in breathable bedding and a mini air cooling unit for my bedside table has all really helped. If sleep is consistently elusive, speak to your doctor. Sleep is not a luxury—it’s a lifeline.
3. Learn About Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)
HRT isn’t for everyone, but it’s worth exploring. It’s not the scary, one-size-fits-all option it used to be. Modern HRT can be tailored to your specific needs and may relieve many symptoms, including mood swings, hot flashes, and joint pain. Get the facts from reliable sources and speak to a menopause-literate healthcare provider.
4. Eat to Nourish, Not Punish
Perimenopause changes the way your body processes food. Instead of restrictive dieting, aim for nutrient-dense, anti-inflammatory meals: think leafy greens, whole grains, lean protein, and healthy fats. Cut back on sugar and alcohol if you can, especially if they worsen your symptoms. I’ve personally found that cutting out caffiene has helped my palpitations to improve a lot. Hydration is also key—water truly is magic during this phase and electrolyte sachets can be helpful too.
5. Move Your Body Gently (But Consistently)
Exercise doesn’t have to mean punishment or intensity. In fact, overdoing it can make symptoms worse. Aim for movement that supports your mood and joints—like walking, yoga, or swimming. Strength training is also fantastic for maintaining bone density and muscle mass, both of which decline during this time.
6. Create Cooling Rituals
If you’re constantly overheating, you’re not alone. Invest in cooling sprays, bamboo sheets, and a handheld fan you don’t leave home without. Avoid spicy foods and caffeine if they trigger flashes. Take cool showers before bed. You’re not being dramatic—your body is genuinely running hot, and it needs your compassion.
7. Support Your Mental Health
Brain fog, anxiety, and irritability are real and valid symptoms of perimenopause. Don’t gaslight yourself into thinking it’s all in your head. Seek support—a therapist, coach, or supportive friend. Consider mindfulness practices like journaling or meditation, even in small doses. You deserve mental peace just as much as physical relief.
8. Don’t Suffer Through Periods in Silence
If your periods have become unbearably heavy or painful, speak up. Flooding, clots, and severe cramps are not just “part of being a woman”—they’re a sign something’s shifting. There are medical options available: from HRT and progesterone to non-hormonal treatments like tranexamic acid. You don’t have to just “deal with it.”
9. Build Your Perimenopause Toolkit
Supplements like magnesium, vitamin D, omega-3s, and B vitamins may help with symptoms like sleep, mood, and energy—but always check with your doctor first. Herbal support like evening primrose or ashwagandha has helped some women too. Create a toolkit of self-soothers: lavender balm, herbal tea, a weighted blanket, or even a comforting playlist.
10. Talk About It—Loudly and Often
Perimenopause thrives in silence. The more we share our stories, the less alone we feel and the more empowered we become. Talk to your friends, your doctor, your partner. Be honest about what you’re going through. We’ve spent too long pretending we’re “fine.” This is a powerful transition—and we deserve support, not silence.
Perimenopause isn’t easy—it’s messy, emotional, disorienting, and at times, downright exhausting. But it’s also a powerful reminder that you are still evolving. Your body is asking for deeper care, your spirit is asking for more space, and your future self is waiting on the other side of all this change.
There is no one-size-fits-all map through this phase, but there is support, hope, and healing available. You are not going mad, and you are not alone. With the right tools, knowledge, and kindness toward yourself, you will come through this stronger, softer, and more in tune with your body than ever before.
So fan in one hand, cup of tea in the other—let’s face it together.