Sparkles & Stretchmarks: A UK Parenting & Pregnancy Blog: A House Full Of Boys

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

A House Full Of Boys

A house full of boys.

Yes...since giving birth to my second child 2 weeks ago, I can now say that I am well & truly outnumbered in our house.

3 boys with me as the only female.

When you're having a baby, you're supposed to say that you don't care about the gender you're're supposed to say that as long as it's healthy that's all that matters.

Sometimes though, we do have a preference...something that I believe is only natural and certainly not a reason to be hung drawn and quartered like so many people on social media would like to make out.

When I was pregnant with Tyne, I had a strong preference to have a girl...something I have blogged about honestly before....of course once Tyne was born I didn't feel that way anymore, and I would never want him to be anything other than him now....something I also blogged about.

When I was having Noah, I was much happier with the idea of another boy...and I think the reason for that is I knew just how sweet, loving and adorable boys can be. I'd never really been around little boys before having Tyne you see, my family is all girls and the concept of a boy was totally alien to me.

However - considering society like to insist that it's SO very wrong to state a preference for one gender over the other- there is something I have noticed from people's comments over the last few weeks that is annoying me rather a lot.

It seems to be popular opinion that boys are somehow less affectionate and loving than girls, and that they are somehow automatically going to make a lot more mess or be generally unruly in some way.

And it is most definitely part of the reason that I felt such a strong preference to have a girl 2 years ago - because, as someone who hadn't been around boys before, I listened to people and believed all the rubbish they spouted about how messy boys are, how wild they are, etc.

I'm already starting to lose count of the number of people who make comments about how they "couldn't handle a house full of boys" or about how "I'll have my hands full with all those boys around".

This is the kind of thing I might expect to hear from an elderly relative...the kind of generations old point of view on gender that I would quietly roll my eyes at but understand as something that was acceptable to say years ago...but hearing these kinds of statements from young parents in their 20s and 30s shocks me, actually.

The people I hear making these statements are the very same people I have seen comment on how against gender stereotyping they are....

How they'd never choose pink clothes for their daughters just because they're girls...

They'd never stop a boy from playing with a dolls pram and they'd encourage a girl to play with cars....

So then why is it that they think they can judge what my "house full of boys" will be like based purely on their gender?

I'm assuming that they think my house will be noisier than it might if there were more girls living here? 



And any number of other stereotypical labels put onto little boys....

Well I find that to be a pretty ridiculous notion, actually....and excuse me but I'm actually quite offended by it.

I believe that children are individuals....each with their own unique little personality...some are louder than others, some are more willful, some are more shy....some like to play in the dirt and make a lot of mess, some are ever so particular and neat....some are a little bit bossy and like to test their boundaries, other are very gentle and retiring....

And these wonderful little character traits are what make them the person they are....and I personally don't believe that any of that has ANYTHING to do with their gender.

Noah's personality remains to be seen....but let me tell you a little about Tyne....

Tyne is one of the most affectionate children you could ever meet. 

He has a very sweet and loving nature...he adores people and thinks they are all his "friends"...he waves to everybody he sees and greets them with a happy hello...he loves to give affectionate cuddles and kisses and sing "I wuv youuuuu!" to us all numerous times every day....

He loves to look after his baby brother and give him gentle kisses, and help to comfort him when he cries by stroking his face and whispering "Don't be sad, Noah".

He loves to play with dolls - Tinkerbell and Upsy Daisy are two of his favourite TV characters - he adores dancing and has recently started attending Baby Ballet classes (and is more graceful than half of the little girls there!)

Every morning when I get dressed, he sits next to me while I put on my make up and pretends to put his own on too...he rubs my blusher brush all over his face and tells me he's pretty....he asks me to put "Nail Barney" (Translation: Nail Varnish) on him (which I do!) and he helps me to choose what perfume I'll wear that day and helps to spritz it on....

He walks around the house wearing my shoes whenever I leave them laying around, and loves to dress up in any item of my clothing he can find (or his Dads too, he's not fussy!)...

He plays tea parties and picnics, and has an imagination to rival any grown ups I've ever known!

He is SO interested in clothes already - something which must have rubbed off on him from me - he loves browsing in "Mothercurtains" with me at all of the clothes and choosing the ones he likes, he "Ooohs" when I show him something new that I've bought for him, he even compliments my own outfit choices sometimes! For a barely 2 year old the boy has an eye for fashion and a love of shopping to rival most of my grown-up female friends! 

Everytime we leave the house, he shouts "Stand by tree!" - which means he wants to stand up by our tree and pose for an Outfit Of The Day photo for Instagram! - and while he's doing this he usually picks a flower out of the garden and says "Flower for you, Mummy"...what could be sweeter than that?!

He HATES to get dirty and comes running to me with a disgusted look on his face whenever he gets mud on his hand demanding "WIPE IT OFF MUMMY!"...

This child couldn't possibly be any more affectionate...he couldn't be any neater...he plays beautifully with his toys and honestly couldn't be any easier to look after...he doesn't spend his days digging around in dirt or eating worms...

Yes he's a boy....but that defines absolutely nothing about him, other than which public toilets he'll use when he's older!

It doesn't give away anything about his doesn't mean his relationship with one parent will be automatically any doesn't mean that there's anything he'll automatically enjoy or not enjoy...

It just means that he's a boy.

Nothing more, nothing less.

So please do not insinuate that my house is somehow more chaotic or smelly or wild because of the presence of my sons....

Please don't assume that my life is any less filled with affection or sweetness or love...

Their gender defines absolutely nothing about them so please don't be an idiot and assume that it does.

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  1. In my opinion boys are far more affectionate than girls, hence why I was so happy to have a little boy - Irish mammies and their love for their boys is a 'thing' here :) I'm against gender stereotyping, I let TL play what he wants but if I ever do have a girl I don't think I could resist the dresses! I think having a house full of boys is lovely and it's so nice for Tyne to have a brother to grow up with, they'll be super close and that's so lovely. Never mind those people with their comments, some people will always have something negative to say! x

  2. Oh Hayley this is such a fantastic post! I was the same in that before I had Zach I had a preference and longed for a little girl as I had never been around boys and didn't really know anything about them. Once I gave birth though I realised that actually it doesn't matter at all and that all babies are independent people who will have their own personality and likes and dislikes. I find gender stereotyping really interesting and coincidentally I just wrote a post about my thoughts on it!! Tyne sounds like such a lovely little boy :) xx

  3. Well said, I personally love the thought of having two boys. I certainly don't think that means my house would be any smellier or messier. Also how can anyone think that boys don't give just as much affection? It's not about gender, it's about personality. x


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