Life is tough to make your way through sometimes. You can struggle for years without seeing results, making you want to give up.
When this happens, it can take its toll on your mental health. You can fall into bad habits or get into a routine that harms your well-being.
Of course, you’d love to be strong and weather any storm. But that’s easier said than done.
So, what’s the trick here? What should you do when you’re on the verge of giving up? What works?
Be Compassionate Toward Yourself
The first step is to be compassionate toward yourself, something that many of us forget. You think you have to be perfect all the time, but that’s not always possible in a world like ours.
Being compassionate means allowing yourself to slip up from time to time. Setbacks are a part of life, and everyone goes through them. But the people who believe in themselves are ultimately those who thrive.
If you feel like you need help being compassionate to yourself, reach out to a professional. Get them to work with you on improving the conversation you have with yourself so that you can turn your mind into a friend.
Take A Break
Another strategy is to take a break. Instead of telling yourself that you’re “giving up,” you’re instead taking a step back.
Taking a break can feel challenging sometimes. You want to continue and plough through.
However, what matters is the conversation you have with yourself. If you frame it as a short rest, then that’s not going to derail your plans. You’re just going to take a few days until your energy levels are high again before you get back into it.
That’s different from telling yourself that you’re a quitter or a failure. These words have negative connotations and can dominate the conversation you have about yourself.
Focus On What You Can Control
Focusing on what you can control is also a highly effective tactic when you want to quit. It prevents situations from feeling overwhelming and gives you back your mojo.
For example, suppose there is something you have no power over, like what someone said to you. Instead of focusing on that and what it means, focus instead on the things you can do right now to make your life better. As you start exploring, you’ll be amazed at just how many avenues you can go down, whether it’s changing what you eat, applying for a new job, or going to the doctor for a checkup.
Once you start focusing on the things you can control, you stop feeling so helpless. Suddenly, you can move into a new mental world where you’re not running in fear of things but taking charge of situations.
Talk To A Trusted Friend Or Confidante
You could also try talking to a trusted friend or confidante. Sharing your feelings with friends, mentors, and family members can be a helpful form of support when you’re on the brink of giving up.
Everything worth doing in life is hard. That includes starting a family, building a business, or pursuing excellence in sports.
Whatever it is that you want to do, you will eventually get to the point where it feels overwhelming. Deep down, you’ll want to continue, but the pain of doing so is high.
If you get into this situation, it can be helpful to vent to someone you know and trust. Talking to them about what you want to do and how you’re going to make it happen can be beneficial. You can also discuss what you are finding challenging and why you feel like you might give up.
If the other person is supportive, they will help rechannel that negative energy into something more positive. They’ll help you get through this difficult moment and focus on the future on what you can do going forward to achieve your dreams.
Remind Yourself Of Past Wins
Another psychological tactic is to remind yourself of past wins when you’re about to give up. You can recall when things were difficult before and what you did to overcome them.
When you look back at your resilience, it gives you strength in the present. Suddenly, you can see how you made it through and that, in fact, you do have the resolve inside you to make it happen.
For example, suppose you quit smoking in the past using a strong nicotine pouch. You didn’t give up because you had a mission and you had support.
Likewise, you might have been struggling at work with your boss putting pressure on you. But then, somehow, you found a creative solution to the problem that amazed everyone in the office.
Reminding yourself of past wins seems like such a simple thing to do, but it can have profound effects on your overall well-being if you want to give up. Again, it is something that can return power to you and remind you of what you can achieve.
When reflecting on past wins, take note of your resilience and the factors that allowed you to succeed. Tell yourself that you’re still that same person with the same spirit as before.
Feel The Desire To Give Up, Then Let It Go
You can also try allowing yourself to feel the desire to give up. This approach allows you to experience the sensation without repressing it, which can be worse.
When you feel it, suddenly the urge to quit doesn’t seem as strong. It’s no longer something you’re fighting when you allow it in.
Feeling the urge to let go is a challenge, but it is also something that you can then let go. Yes, it’s unpleasant while it’s happening. But once it’s gone, it’s gone!
Don’t fall into the trap of holding onto the feeling though. If you want to give up, accept it, go to bed, and then see how you feel about it in the morning. Usually, you’ll find your batteries recharged and you’re ready to put your effort into another day.
Break It Down
You could also try another approach if you’re on the verge of giving up: breaking it down. Separating a task into smaller chunks can make it more manageable.
This strategy lets you focus on “the next thing.” It allows you to solve something that’s immediately in front of you instead of always thinking about the bigger picture and all the things you have to do.
For example, let’s say that you want to feel healthier again next month. Okay, what would that involve?
Perhaps it means going for a walk, taking some medicine, or talking to a counsellor. It could also mean things like rethinking your grocery shopping or exiting an unhealthy work environment.
Sometimes, changing a situation can seem too big and there’s nothing you can do about it. But when you break it down into smaller chunks, you suddenly see what you need to do before you give up. It can eventually become clear, especially if you combine this method with taking a break.
Breathe
Finally, breathe. Stepping back from a problem often gives you more perspective compared to being in the weeds (so to speak). If you can give yourself some space, it often helps to illuminate what you should be doing next.
Remember, if you’re feeling stressed, you can’t always see the next steps. Your nervous system might be out of control, preventing you from making the decisions that will help you push through a challenging time.